Today I join with my fellow comic book fanboys and fangirls in celebrating the highly anticipated opening of The Avengers or as Flixter User Reviewer Flutie Archibald called it: “. . . THE BEST MOVIE I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!” Six super heroes, two secret agents and one seriously cool villain (I have had a “thing” for Loki since my childhood obsession with mythology) all directed by, not just any Hollywood hack, but JOSH WHEDON of Buffy and Firefly fame.
It is a good day to own an “I am an Evil Genius” t-shirt.
In honor of this awesome occasion (92% positive reviews on Rotten Tomatoes!), I am initiating a time honored discussion often held while waiting in line for Comic-Con events across the country:
- If you were a superhero, what powers would you have?
- If you were a superhero, what would your name be?
- If you were a superhero, what would your outfit look like?
- If you were a superhero, what would be your weakness / villain with a grudge?
- If you were a superhero that already existed, which one you be?
- And my favorite debate: who is better, Batman or Superman?
Just to get the ball of radioactive waste rolling – here is my opinion on question 6.
1. Ability to speak eloquently, in complete, grammatically perfect sentences. Ability to explain the subjunctive in a way that anyone could understand. Ability to correct people’s grammar without hurting their feelings. Ability to read books in a single glance, right through the cover. Ability to identify any piece of music ever, just like Shazam only better (not the super-hero Shazam, but the app Shazam).
2. Nerdo! (exclamation point not optional, but a crucial part of the name, just like God Speed You, Black Emperor!)
3. My everyday clothes would be a cape and tights, but when I changed into Nerdo! I would wear a tweed jacket and big, thick glasses.
4. My mortal enemy would be Ignoramus, who would have a preternatural ability to dismiss everything I say by exclaiming, “So what? Nobody cares!”
5. Early 1970s Daredevil. There’s something about that interlocking double “D” insignia that I really liked as a child.
6. Batman, for more interesting storylines and cooler toys.
1. Powers: Able to read minds. Able to channel those people’s thoughts onto paper. Able to turn those stacks of paper into best sellers. Able to suffer no ill effects to ego. Able to take six-month vacations every single year.
2. Name: Ghostygirl
3. Outfit: sweatpants and a Charms Blow-Pop t-shirt
4. Weakness / Villain: ProdigyGirl, a 23-year-old literary phenom who’s written six huge bestsellers all describing her wacky upbringing. She roams around the city saying things like, “It’s so easy! You just gotta put pen to paper.”
5. Existing superhero: Velma, from Scooby-Doo
6. Superman
I forgot my weakness: the inability to withhold information ad nauseam, even when it’s not needed or helpful. Ignoramus would get away with a lot of stuff while I just yammer on and on.
1. Powers: I am an all-powerful community blog. I have been going for more than six years, longer than any other blog in the universe. I have brought people from different coasts together. I am brilliant.
2. Name: The Great Whatsit
3. Outfit: Green banner with cartoon heads, then random fabulous photos.
4. Weakness / Villain: “Facebook”. Creeping indifference from readers. Inexplicable reluctance to comment.
5. Existing superhero: The entire Justice League
6. Superman