Alternative Book Titles

OK, so I’m laid up with a busted ankle after a poorly executed slide into second base on Sunday. I’m on the couch all day, so have plenty of time to write a wonderful post for you people. But I don’t feel like writing, OK? I feel like playing online poker and watching bad TV. And feeling sorry for myself.

So, you get this link instead! Better Book Titles. Some of these made me laugh out loud. A few favorites:





This is a literary crew… whatta ya got, people? Any additions to the ouevre?

13 responses to “Alternative Book Titles”

  1. F. P. Smearcase says:

    Pride and Prejudice and Sensibility and Tedious Dithering about Which Wealthy Person it is Appealing but Also Appropriate to Marry.

  2. Rachel says:

    Sorry to hear about your ankle, LP. On the bright side: painkillers and bonbons!

    Love this site. One of my favorites: Robinson Crusoe.

  3. Tim says:

    Anna Karenina: I Often Dream of Trains

    LP! Get well soon!

  4. Tim says:

    Too dark, maybe?

  5. LP says:

    Too soon, Timo.

    Thanks for best ankle wishes, R and T! Bonbons = yes, painkillers = no good ones, rats! But I’ll just eat more bonbons.

  6. swells says:

    I have nothing to compete with these–just here to thank you, LP, for giving me (and my entire department today) such guffaws.

  7. A White Bear says:

    2: Raisins and Slavery has long been my summary of Robinson Crusoe in class. Yay! I think the Bible is a red herring.

    1. For real, Smearcase?

  8. PB says:

    Love this sight. So sorry about your ankle! – wait, not necessarily in that order.
    I have one: Kid Run Amok and Kill Each Other Over a Shell.

  9. swells says:

    7: Oh for real. I’m totally with Smearcase on Pride and Predge and Dithering.

  10. Dave says:

    Anything by Michel Houellebecq can safely be retitled “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.”

    Was trying to think of one for the Bible. Maybe “Disturbing Shit Sprinkled with Some Famous Quotes that Surprisingly Aren’t from Shakespeare.”

    Or maybe: “Yahweh Can’t Make up His Mind.”

  11. swells says:

    I was thinking that about the Bible yesterday! You must have heard that NPR story about the King James?? As they were running through the list of cliches that we no longer even recognize as quotations, I thought, “Huh, I thought every cliche originated in Hamlet.”

  12. PB says:

    This site was a big hit with the High School AP Lit crowd.

  13. F. P. Smearcase says:

    Sorry AWB. In truth I can’t really judge because every time I started it, I ended up asleep before really getting into it. It is, seriously, the only book I have ever face-planted into, emphatically unconscious.

    The title that keeps making me laugh no matter how many times I read it is “Inside a Cat Lady’s Opium Nap.” Like I just laughed after typing it.