Archive for December, 2006

Stella’s treasure chest

Almost every woman is guilty of wearing a bra that is too large in bandwidth and too small in the cup. It’s tempting to get hung up on cup size, Oprah says—she’s been there. “I was in a C for years,” she admits. “I thought only strippers were Ds.” America’s true decider, Oprah, recently […]

Tales from the office

Elaine I met Elaine four years ago. Although her home attendant had to push her wheelchair into the room, Elaine cheerfully asserted her control over the visit. Her smile beamed as she greeted me with a warm “Here I am!” I soon learned it was her trademark greeting. I also noted that it was a […]

A Redneck Riviera Xmas

Greetings from the beautiful Gulf Coast of Florida! Wish I could report it was sunny and warm, but sadly it is not. Stella and I nearly froze today on a little trip out to the beach. More on that forthwith. I rarely come to my hometown to see my parents (they’re quick to load up […]

War on Christmas: Dispatch from the front


Hermie on holiday

No time for nice little essays this week. No intelligible thought whatsoever. My brain is a pile of brown boxes I have to unpack before Sunday. Hermie’s writer persona is on hiatus—The Abominable Snowman is out shopping. But the sugar plum fairy is in full pirouette. There must be time for cheese, in a cheddar ball […]

Best Music Videos of 2006

In July I finally finished my residency and got a real job, which meant I had my own office and a nice T1 computer connection. Ah, the American dream. When I'd have a patient no-show, I could become a Web-surfing maniac. Besides the obvious media browsing — music/movie reviews, politics, porn, blogs, YouTube, I became quite versed […]

My girlfriend is Vietnamese

I’ve been wanting to write the piece you are about to read for several weeks now, and I’ve been thinking about the topic for much longer than that. Yet, as I start to write it, it occurs to me that what I’m writing might detract somewhat from folks’ Christmas spirit, and for that I apologize. […]

Tuesday disappointment: Failed arts and crafts

If I’d been better with Krazy Glue, more patient, you would now be reading how to make a Christmas tree ornament out of used Metro cards. I would, as they say, be getting all Martha Stewart on your ass. I made one yesterday, for the office holiday party. I work at a design firm, and […]

Bike service

I’m itching to invest in a rickshaw. A pedicab. Maybe just a big old adult trike. This is what I think while I pedal my twelve-year-old daughter Anna to volleyball practice three mornings a week at 7 am. We head south, first down Center Market or Mulberry through Little Italy, which at the moment is strung with […]

My friend the spy, Part V

My Friend the Spy is a Great Whatsit serial. It is a true story (save for the author’s pseudonym), told in weekly installations. Part I. Part II. Part III. Part IV. From the previous episode: The more I learn, the more I wonder: who is my new friend Joel Barr? Is he a genius, as […]