Archive for July, 2006

The coming shitstorm, part 2

Imagine you’re on a ship crossing the North Atlantic. It’s night, and, being in the midst of a passionate but doomed affair with Kate Winslet and/or Leonardo diCaprio, you can’t sleep. You decide to go for a walk on the foredeck where, alone with your thoughts, staring out to sea, you spot several icebergs ahead. […]

Manhattan forever

Saturday night my friend (and TGW West Coast Wednesdayer) Wendy and I went to see Woody Allen’s Manhattan outdoors at Hollywood Forever cemetery, where a summer film series transforms the broad side of Rudolph Valentino’s mausoleum into an enormous projection screen. We arrived two hours early but the hipsters were already out in droves, lined up by the […]

10th-century blog

Small children and babies ought to be plump. So ought provincial governors and others who have gone ahead in the world; for if they are lean and dessicated, one suspects them of being ill-tempered. My favorite blog was written in the last decade of the 10th century in Japan. Of course it’s not technically a […]

Dear Cedric

Dear Cedric, When my boyfriend orgasms, he shoots his load much further than mine. What can I do to improve my distance? Lance B. Dear Lance, We all love pushing our bodies to their limits. Who hasn’t participated in a watermelon seed spitting contest? A rock-skipping challenge? Or a hotdog eat-off? Growing up, all boy […]

How not to pee, part 2

Last week I posted an anecdote that inspired in me the desire to codify some regulations for men to observe when urinating. As promised (or threatened), here’s the list. While I haven’t done extensive research, I like to think that these rules are not just an expression of my quirks and peeves. Some of these […]

The Magoo theory of super-lucky living

When I was in high school, I picked up the paper one morning at breakfast to read about a terrible accident. A woman had been driving along the local interstate, and as she reached over to pluck a French fry from a bag in her daughter’s lap, she swerved ever so slightly into the shoulder […]

Summer monks

Most people think university professors have it easy: almost four months off in the summers, no classes, no requirement to report to work, and the paychecks still arrive each month. Why not head to Mexico? Instead, I spend a good chunk of time each summer acting like a monk. I find a library, an archive, a repository […]

The coming shitstorm, part 1

American Theocracy: The Peril and Politics of Radical Religion, Oil, and Borrowed Money in the 21st Century by Kevin Phillips (Viking 2006) Kevin Phillips thinks the country is going all to hell, a predicament that’s largely the fault, his title suggests, of people who think the country is going to Hell. But thank God for […]

Reality swap

In my real life I don’t watch a lot of TV. I don’t have moral objections to television, I just don’t have time. I also don’t have much opportunity or interest. Trying to find a slot between our two gaming systems, Cartoon Network, Project Runway, and endless loops of Law and Order can be challenging. This […]

Hot or not: More very short reviews

We take a break from the bathroom blogging to bring you more 100-words-or-fewer reviews: It’s Never Been Like That, Phoenix (Astralwerks, 2006) “Long distance call” has a funky, playful sound that has forced me on several occasions to stop whatever it is I am doing in order to dance around. It’s one of those songs […]