about poetry

is that you can write just about anything

and

as

long as you

space it out creatively,

it transcends mere

words. or at least

it feels that way.

~~~

it also helps

if you

write

in all lower-case letters.

~~~

i know

this is crap. but now i will attempt

to write some actual

poetry. i’m feeling

inspired.

~~~

ready?

here we go.

~~~

your face, so hard and cold

your fists, clenched tight

the betrayal, o!

the betrayal.

what kind of blog post is this? what hath this tuesday morning wrought?

the fire rages inside.

the fire rages inside.

~~~

i am going to go out

on a

limb

and say that i actually like that poem, as ridiculous as it is.

there’s something about

repeating lines

that pleases me.

that pleases me.

~~~

thank

you.

~~~

I will do better

next

week.

~~~

I love you

all.

This handy gadget will occupy you for hours as you click away to your heart’s content, boldly going where only a few have gone before. You can have an adventure right in the comfort of your own home (or workplace). And not to fear, there’s no porn in the world of randomwebsite.com, so it’s definitely NOT NSFW! But I’ll tell you what there is: lots of really cool websites that you’d never find on your own! Here’s a random sampling of what I found today:

The Illuminati Conspiracy Archive. I learned that Barack Obama is a former CIA Agent. Who knew?

111annex / 111 Minna Gallery It looks like some sort of art gallery in San Francisco. But get this: right on the front page, it says A Random Publication. Whoaaa.

Industrial Workers of the World. Did you know that Starbucks workers have a union? Or at least they want to have one.

Tired of the same old music? Check out voivod, who won the Metal Group of the Year at the 2010 Indie Awards, or the Navigator Truck Company, who, aside from having skateboard trucks made from 100% recycled metal, has some tasty jams! Sometimes I’ll happen upon a music site of a band I’ve already heard of, which makes it even cooler.

And for some intense random meta action, check out Folk Songs for the Five Points , where you can hear a random mix of collected sounds from New York’s Lower East Side, from a subway busker, to a seafood salesman, to the sound of steam coming through a manhole cover. As an added bonus, this site is interactive – you can create your own mix by turning the individual tracks on and off, pan from left to right, and increase or decrease volume.

Occasionally I’ll happen upon a website that’s in a foreign language, and so I end up clicking around to different pages, but I don’t even know what they’re saying! Here’s one in Finnish (I think) http://www.eniro.fi/ Is that crazy or what? Those feriners, they have a different word for everything!

Here’s a deceptively named site – cleanclothes.org. No, it’s not a place to learn how to separate the whites from the colors – au contraire! It’s an organization that advocates improved working conditions for garment workers. How about that?

If you want some LGBT-friendly, cool music and art, look no further than The Boston Phoenix , It looks to me like Boston’s version of the LA Weekly, the Village Voice, or the SF Weekly. Now THAT’s journalism I can stomach!

For you weird science types, check out DreamTech International, an organization for all your cloning needs. But wait a minute – can that be real? Of course it is – it’s on the Internets!

Oddly enough, I can’t recall ever having randomly generated the NRA, the GOP, or Right-to-Life. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? It seems that RandomWebsite.org has a left-leaning slant. But how could it be “random” if most of the sites that come up tend toward the blue side of the spectrum? Ahh, but that’s the beauty of the internest – it becomes what you – or our friend Bob here – make of it. So click away with abandon. And tell me friends, what random website adventure did YOU generate today?

Ten Most Recent Plays

Bonus!

A photo of some fun-lovin’ guys.

Thinking this, well *knowing* this in my very soul, I had dismissed the entirety of Twitter with a wave of my hand ages ago. (You know, *months*, if not even a little over a *year* ago — forever, electronically speaking.) However, I have discovered that, in the hands of the right Tweeter, that there gizmo has its merits as a purveyor of finely-tuned episodic serial narrative. Soap opera, that is.

Witness “Shh Don’t Tell Steve”, a Twitter feed written on the sly by a college student about his lunkish oaf of a roommate, Steve. Tweets take the form of anthropological observations of Steve’s behavior.

Steve is a typical white upper-middle class kid in his last year of college, with interests that range from drinking Jack Daniel’s and smoking dope through eating junk food all the way to playing video games and watching sports. Falling somewhere in there is Steve’s prime directive: getting laid.

Steve’s attention to his classwork boils down to trying to squeak by and pass his classes so that his father won’t cut off his allowance. Hygiene is not a priority, nor are cooking and cleaning. The social graces are also a weak point.

I discovered the feed in question as a link off of one of the blogs I read and have been hooked ever since. The vicarious thrill of observing at second hand the relatively-privileged-and-yet-downwardly-trending young white American male is certainly part of the appeal. Also, the tension surrounding keeping Steve in the dark about the Twitter feed can be excruciating. Really, though, it’s funny as hell.

It’s a little like reading a Dickens novel, if Dickens had actually been Judd Apatow and had access to the interwaffle.

Observe! Steve’s ignorance:

Steve thought classes started today. Forgot about MLK. Steve: “I would have fucking slept in. They really need to publicize that shit.”

Listen! as Steve’s attempt to make a generous gesture gets derailed:

Steve has a bag of shirts he’s giving to Salv. Army. Told him he should dump ones with pit stains or holes. Steve: “That’s like all of them”

Watch! as Steve reveals too much about his feelings for women:

Steve on Valentine’s Day and Slutty Tina: “I want to do the right thing and get her something but I don’t want it to mean anything.”

Gaze freely! as Steve commits yet another faux pas:

Steve got into fight w/ one of Slutty Tina’s roommates for not locking bathroom door: “It was like she’d never seen a dude taking a crap”

Get wistful! as Steve contemplates his history with soft porn:

Steve got reflective looking at SI swimsuit pics online. Steve: “You know, I stole my first swimsuit issue from this kid Brad in 4th grade.”

Steve is, of course, the main attraction here, but the cast of supporting characters is truly colorful and fascinating.

- Our (unnamed) narrator: clearly brilliant for thinking of this and talented with language; has, however, a tendency to commit errors in judgment of his own.

Steve mentioned that he sent BG a Vday gift and she never responded. So I told him about Asshat. He’s now in drinking/punching walls mode.

- Shelly: our narrator’s girlfriend who alternates between encouraging the Twitter feed and reprimanding the narrator for having little real concern for Steve.

Shelly annoyed I hadn’t noticed Steve’s depression. Shelly: “He hasn’t changed out of his fleece sweats and he smells like dude warmed over”

- Slutty Tina: Steve’s once and future ex, who currently occasionally sleeps with him.

Steve made two booty calls to Slutty Tina this week and was denied. 1st excuse: Laundry. 2nd excuse: Homework. Don’t think she does either

- Burrito Girl: also Steve’s ex, who recently dumped him for altogether too many reasons, instigating Steve’s drunken return to the arms of Slutty Tina.

Steve sent some very high, very late texts to BG last night. I chastised him for it. Steve: “No, it’s cool. None of them were desperate”

- Asshat: Burrito Girl’s ex, jealousy about whom contributed greatly to Steve and BG’s breakup; it appears that BG and Asshat may be back together.

Me: “Dude, you okay?” Steve: “I’m cool. I’m done with her. I just hope I run into [Asshat] so I can beat his ass.”

- Aggro Tony: one of Steve’s good friends; another mess of a privileged college kid.

Steve and Aggro Tony were up late last night bitching about their Dads. They both think they deserve more respect and bigger allowances.

- Sweaty Rick: Steve’s party pal and pot dealer.

Sweaty Rick over to watch football and sell weed. Asked Rick how his New Years was and he said “profitable”. Said 2010 is “all about pills”

- Fish: known mostly for having an extremely attractive sister whom Steve wants to “bang”.

Steve immediately took on the Fish awkwardness by pronouncing “I will not make any joke about how hot your sister is O-KAY?”

- TJ: a friend of the narrator who is in on the Twitter scheme; generally benign and best for mobile updates, as he owns an iPhone; nearly spilled the Twitter beans at Thanksgiving dinner.

Fucking TJ! Steve spilled gravy boat all over table. TJ: “Bet that’s going on Twitter” Steve was confused. Shelly quickly covered.

- Smart Ass: a fairly new character; a woman in one of Steve’s classes, whom he admires for her brains and posterior; her edgy side came out a couple weeks ago during a raging bar crawl.

Shelly had dubbed Smart Ass a “bunch of nothing” but then SA reveald a “sex on a Greyhoundd bus” story and a barbed wire rose hip Tatoo

Admittedly, I’m a bit late to the Shhdontellsteve story, but I’m really looking forward to the next months as Steve’s senior year winds down and his post-college future unfolds. A recent set of events indicates how things may go:

Steve went to his advisor this morning. Asked him if had any “Sports Marketing connections”. Advisor had none. Steve deemed him “worthless”

Steve “juggled” his class schedule so he has 4 day weekends for his last semester. Predicts “it’s gonna get ugly around here. I believe him

They’re painting the halls of apt building this week. One of the painters is Steve’s “Cool” RA from Fresh Yr. It’s freaking Steve out a bit.

Steve’s RA turned Apt Hall Painter told Steve he could get him hired at the painting company once Steve gives up on getting a real job

Steve said the RA run in was “fucking scary” and “it’s time to get serious.” Apparently that means getting high and watching Robot Chicken.

Fasten your seat belts; it’s going to be a bumpy ride.