Sometimes you just need a Guy. I am aware of how sexist this is–maybe sometimes the Guy is actually a Gal–but in my experience they’re mostly Guys, these experts upon whom I depend. The Mechanic Guy, the Contractor Guy, the Computer Guy, the Landscaper Guy–it’s crucial to me that I place absolute trust in the [...]
Archive for the ‘Relationships’ category
Be my guest
A sleeping bag and maybe a towel⎯that’s all we used to need. Crashing at a friend’s place required no great forethought⎯a few days’ notice, maybe. But combine age, bigger incomes, more complicated lives, and greater needs for privacy and independence, and all of a sudden hospitality is a fraught issue. It’s Monday morning as I [...]
How to Try
I am missing the arrogance of my stupid youth. When did I get so embarrassed of making a fool of myself? Why wasn’t I ashamed of myself then? The lack of shame usually works for my college students, in that they dare to say and do all kinds of productive things in my classes. It [...]
My life on the C-list; or, The ones that got away
The first time, I am incredibly nervous. We exchange a polite email before I call to set up the appointment at her house. Driving into an unfamiliar neighborhood, cash bulging from my wallet, I wonder: what’s the etiquette? Do I ask her last name? Do I try to make small talk? How long should I [...]
Out
This week I found myself trying to explain “the closet” and “coming out” in a bit more depth than is usually given the subjects, as every water cooler and blog in the country resonated with some form of the search phrase “elena kagan lesbian”: Now we have Eliot Spitzer, among others, assuring us that the [...]
Ideal Reader
When teaching an intro course on literature, I often end up teaching my students about the difference between an ideal reader and an actual reader. An ideal reader is someone you can imagine reading a text and getting all the little jokes and references, appreciating the compositional complexity of the text, deriving as much pleasure [...]
Humorless
I fear that I’m getting a reputation for being not-fun in my old age. Sure, I’m only 30, but it’s clear that a whole landscape of human interactions has closed off to me. My interest in movies and television has waned. And I really don’t enjoy dating as much as I used to. It all [...]
Love wins
Someone once pointed out to me that D.C., with a 95% democratic base and populated by progressive thinkers from all income levels, would be to the left of Vermont, California, the Republic of Berkeley etc. if it were a state or had proper congressional representation. I am sure you are all aware of the sorry [...]
Small World
New York City is home to 8.3 million people, and sometimes I’m pretty sure I know every one of them. I’m not particularly popular or cool. I am not affiliated with a “scene,” I don’t go to a lot of parties, and I’m sort of a stay-at-home girl. But it’s gradually become impossible to leave [...]
