The scariest part of my job is intubating people — medical terminology for putting a tube down someone’s throat so that a machine can breathe for them. This is something that happens regularly in Emergency Departments: people’s hearts or lungs fail them — or they are victims of gunshot or knife wounds or high-speed automobile [...]
Archive for the ‘Health’ category
Tales from the office
Murray and Esther
For a 73-year-old retired man, Murray looked great. The first time I met him, I noted a thin and spry graying man on my exam room table who waiting excitedly for his yearly physical. And his attentive wife sat on a chair right beside him.
That was the norm for my practice. My patient [...]
Now I’m a seasick sailor
It’s 3 AM, 3:18 to be exact, and I know because I’ve been watching the digital numbers change, a 15 becoming a 16 becoming a 17, every digital number able to be made out of the seven straight lines that form a digital number 8. I think I’m actually going to vomit – is that [...]
Ode to Joy
I am the lucky and proud owner of a great historic tome, The Joy of Cooking. But wait, don’t run to your cupboards just yet — this is an old edition, last printed in 1975. The frontispiece still lists all the prior editions, dating back to 1931 — pre-freeway, pre-Cold War, pre global warming. To call [...]
Rising up through the talons of the tiger
or to the challenge of arrival
or to the challenge of our rivals.
Whatever.
Bryan at 2:20 am: “2006 is my bitch, yall!!”
Happy New Year from Rocky Balboa and the Garden State Chorale, Inc.
And from all your best friends at The Great Whatsit.
Stella’s treasure chest
Almost every woman is guilty of wearing a bra that is too large in bandwidth and too small in the cup. It’s tempting to get hung up on cup size, Oprah says—she’s been there. “I was in a C for years,” she admits. “I thought only strippers were Ds.”
www.Oprah.com
America’s true decider, Oprah, recently introduced a [...]
Tales from the office
Elaine
I met Elaine four years ago. Although her home attendant had to push her wheelchair into the room, Elaine cheerfully asserted her control over the visit. Her smile beamed as she greeted me with a warm “Here I am!” I soon learned it was her trademark greeting. I also noted that [...]
Tales from the office
Barnaby
His name on my schedule surprised me that morning. I figured it must be him, because even in NYC there can’t be that many people with his name and general age. When he showed up my suspicion was confirmed.
Barnaby was a friend of mine. Not a close friend, but we had hung [...]
Tales from the office
James
James came into my office with penile discharge. I felt relieved because it was bound to be a quick visit—I’d test him for chlamydia and gonorrhea and give him the appropriate antibiotic.
But I was wrong. The twenty-two year old had already seen three doctors in the last three months about the problem. [...]
We’re back from Amsterdam
John Cale’s 1971 album Vintage Violence includes a sweet little sleeper of a song called “Amsterdam.” In it, the singer’s lover has just returned from a trip there, and “it seems the journey did her well.” Her face has softened; if it’s lost its touch, it’s also lost its telltale signs of loneliness. Maybe this is because while there she [...]
