Archive for the ‘Drugs’ category

Hubble bubble

I was fighting a cold last week and turned to one of my favorite remedies: the hot toddy. This drink has stunning restorative powers, which belie the simplicity of the ingredients: scotch, honey, lemon, and hot water. The hot water carries the alcohol through the body quickly, while hydrating. The lemon provides vitamin C. And […]

The terrible truth about marijuana

I just got this txt message from my dealer: What a good guy. So have a happy 420. Here’s a 1950s propaganda film about marijuana. “Hundreds and hundreds of teenage boys and girls are becoming hopeless dope addicts every year. It’s fantastic.” PEACE OUT GREAT WHATSIT

Rising up through the talons of the tiger

or to the challenge of arrival or to the challenge of our rivals. Whatever.    Bryan at 2:20 am:  “2006 is my bitch, yall!!”   Happy New Year from Rocky Balboa and the Garden State Chorale, Inc. And from all your best friends at The Great Whatsit.

Tales from the office

Hilda Hilda complained that her neurologist was rude. The doctor accused Hilda of having a poor memory and being incompetent to take care of her own affairs. He insisted that Hilda get an MRI scan of the brain to identify signs of brain deterioration. And he wanted her to take a new medicine. At age […]

Various cults

“Artists are the worker priests of the cult of man.” That’s a statement by Brice Marden. A brand new painting by Marden will set you back about nine hundred thousand dollars. In addition, Marden has been pretty up front about his drug use. He really likes to smoke pot. So what kind of cult is […]

Poetic lie-sense

Please read me—please read me—please Because I got out of bed to write this Please read me—please read me—please Because if everyone read this I’d be anthologized for ever Please read me—please read me—please Because it’ll only take a moment Please read me—please read me—please Because I look under every dark emotion for an even […]

Farrell Fawcett's six degrees of separation

I am quite proud to announce that I personally know every one of the contributors to The Great Whatsit. Yes, even the anonymous contributors. And as far as my research indicates, I am the only contributor who can claim that honor (sorry Dave and Bryan). So in the interest of helping those home viewers feel […]

The story of my experiments with nicotine

Close, but no clove: I’d always been taught that smoking was wrong. Not just bad for your health, as they told us in health class with the help of graphic images of clogged and cancerous lungs and people breathing through tubes in their throats. No, actually wrong, the kind of thing that could put you […]