It is exactly 3:21 a.m. I am picking the last few kernels of popcorn from my teeth and wearing a homemade black t-shirt emblazoned with the words “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good” on the front and “mischief managed” on the back. I am home earlier than last year. I don’t have kids [...]
Author Archive
Zombies
Overheard in the Bar at Chili’s: A: Did you see that movie, “Zombieland”? B: No. A: It’s really funny. B: I hate Zombies. A: Why? B: You can’t kill them. They just keep coming. They can’t die because they are already dead. A: You can cut off their heads or blow them up. C: Or [...]
What happens in Vegas
It is almost too easy, like photos of kittens or a Sarah Palin interview. My head darts around like a hummingbird. My senses are Velcro: images stick, noises collect, scents fight for airtime. Sparkle! Ringing! Flash! Cheers! It is hard to be here alone. Hard to take it all in without spewing it back out, nudging, [...]
Crash, Rinse, Repeat
The fence, graffiti, ramps and staircases remind me vaguely of a Sesame Street set. I realize this is not the look they were going for, but the urban edge feels constructed, assembled from pieces of West Side Story and Romper Room. I feel out of place. It is not my age, there are plenty of [...]
Bad dream
It was in vivid high definition: some monster person with a melting face and a knife and doors that I could not lock fast enough. There was chasing and close calls. The stuff of horror movies I do not go see, under any circumstance, and yet can somehow recreate at a cellular level. I jarred awake [...]
To vida, noxzema and chi chi, thanks for everything
I will break him out of school half day, slowing the car as he hops in. We will speed away, two people on the same road, age and authority disappearing as we sit side by side in the front seat. We will be alert and together, the excitement building as we approach our city, basking in [...]
She bakes cookies!
On Mother’s Day several years ago, my then small sons brought home an art project from Sunday school. It was meant to be a sort of gift/card for me, the focus of their lesson. It consisted of two large circles placed one on top of the other and fastened by a brad in the middle. [...]
Marathon minion
I suppose watching a marathon is not as hard as running one. Spectators do not get as sweaty. Some sit in lawn chairs, but most stand up, wedged against barriers and each other. There is not much movement on the sidelines. The cheerleaders can only tip toe up and down, squinting, trying to discern one [...]
Spring break: the cheez-it and guinness edition
This week was officially Spring Break. The boys were off from school. I took time off work. While the March grey weather blew dead leaves and dirt clods from the tops of a few shivering crocuses, we stayed in our house and relaxed. No Florida, no skiing, no “stay-cation” exploring the undiscovered neighborhoods of our [...]
Eulogy 101
Over the past few months, several people have asked me for advice on writing a eulogy. Although I have personally spoken at only two funerals and otherwise avoid them, I responded to each request as best I could. They were the friends or grandchildren or nephews of the deceased, sad but not dismantled by grief, [...]
