I was straightening clutter in my front room the other day when, at the fluke edge of my eye, I saw a piece of cardboard wedged behind a cabinet. The color of the paper seemed vaguely familiar but I couldn’t quite determine what it was. Frustrated from trying to flatten my hand behind the back [...]
Author Archive
Easter at our house
This weekend we will hard boil two dozen eggs. We will layer newspaper, line up every teacup we can find and open several decorating kits. Combining dye pellets, vinegar and water in the cups, we will argue about the best way to color the eggs. Do you just plop them in, suspend them for perfect [...]
Favorite things
The flu with a subsequent hacking cough. An endless job transition. Another day of 39 degree Spring. Summer clothes that are now strangely ill fitting after a long winter of eating chocolate and hibernating. Other irritating events that cannot be posted without libel. And when in the hell is Easter? Ever had one of those [...]
So funny you should ask
One morning, seemingly out of the blue, I thought, I should call a colleague I have not contacted in months. I should call her now. I did. She said, so funny you should call, I was just thinking about you and wanted to ask you something important. I read a memo at work that mentioned [...]
Knitting a muffler
I should have cleaned my bathroom this week. I should have answered work email, gone to the gym, attended a choral boosters meeting at the high school, brought my dog to get her nails trimmed or finished the last of my thank you notes from Christmas. Instead I spent most of my limited free time [...]
Monkeyshines
I decided to make my nieces sock monkeys for Christmas. I am not sure why. My grandmother made them for us as children and they were naked, misshapen monstrosities that we hid under pillows. Perhaps it was because they creeped us out so much that I thought of them. My brother is a horror script [...]
Mama’s come to jesus
I was waiting in line at Walmart. I had one tube of my favorite Garnier curl sculpting cream gel on sale for $2.00 off. Three families with full shopping carts were ahead of me. They must have been buying their entire Christmas: heaps of toys, clothes, electronics, kids running around, women digging in cavernous satchels [...]
Harry at midnight
It is exactly 3:21 a.m. I am picking the last few kernels of popcorn from my teeth and wearing a homemade black t-shirt emblazoned with the words “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good” on the front and “mischief managed” on the back. I am home earlier than last year. I don’t have kids [...]
Zombies
Overheard in the Bar at Chili’s: A: Did you see that movie, “Zombieland”? B: No. A: It’s really funny. B: I hate Zombies. A: Why? B: You can’t kill them. They just keep coming. They can’t die because they are already dead. A: You can cut off their heads or blow them up. C: Or [...]
What happens in Vegas
It is almost too easy, like photos of kittens or a Sarah Palin interview. My head darts around like a hummingbird. My senses are Velcro: images stick, noises collect, scents fight for airtime. Sparkle! Ringing! Flash! Cheers! It is hard to be here alone. Hard to take it all in without spewing it back out, nudging, [...]
