I believe that the economy will get worse and worse, as housing prices keep falling and unemployment keeps rising and corporations keep failing. I believe that, at some point, not only will it be difficult to find a job, it will be impossible—in fact, eventually the very idea of a “job” will fade into obsolescence. Moreover, everyone and everything will be forced to declare bankruptcy. But, since there will be no more banks, the idea of being “bankrupt” will just seem quaint. And although nations will continue printing money (for a while), I believe there will be no way for people to earn it, making money abundant and scarce simultaneously. I believe, too, that whole nations will become so frustrated by their own impotence, by their inability to provide anything short of constant and self-perpetuating anarchy, that most governments will just give up and declare themselves non-states, rendering their foreign wars and currencies and borders and U.N. memberships and the very concept of citizenship null and void. I believe that, at some point, the few remaining nations will step in and create a new global currency, in just three different denominations—$1, $3, and $250,000. The fronts of these bills will feature not presidents nor world leaders but a Liger, a Unicorn, and Warren Buffet. I believe, however, that this currency will be more or less worthless, and therefore goods and services will no longer be bought and sold at all. I believe that the robots will be in charge by then and that they will continue manufacturing all of the consumer products to which we’ve become entirely addicted and dependent, that they (the robots) will give everything away for free, accelerating both consumption (because who doesn’t like free stuff?) and their masterplan to make the world completely uninhabitable for humans. I believe that this plan, when discovered, will be met by a collective, worldwide yawn. “Big deal. Weren’t we doing that ourselves already anyway?” someone astute will ask. Someone equally astute will respond, “plus, free iPhones.” I believe that global warming will increase its already-frenetic pace, until all of the glaciers and ice shelves and ice cream and ice cubes melt forever and the sea level rises so there’s no visible land left in the world. I believe this will prompt us to ask the robots to build us a few underwater cities, and this will prompt them to say “No!,” loudly and vehemently (and, to be perfectly honest, somewhat rudely). We will all have hurt feelings and be forced to tread water and be wet all the time.

It is the beginning of the end.

This I believe.

Film:

1. Let the Right One In (Sweden)
2. Synechdoche, New York
3. Tell No One (France)
4. Milk
5. The Dark Knight

TV:

1. The Wire
2. The Mighty Boosh (British import: DVD)
3. Gossip Girl
4. The Daily Show
5. The CBS Evening News with Katie Couric

Music:

1. Bon Iver: For Emma, Forever Ago
2. Atlas Sound: Let the Blind Lead Those Who Can See But Cannot Feel
3. Learning Music: The Greatest Hits So Far
4. Hauschka: Ferndorf
5. Wolf Parade: At Mount Zoomer
6. Honorable Mention: Sara Lov: The Young Eyes EP

Food:

1. Oysters in Philadelphia or at Comme Ça
   
2. Sushi anywhere, everywhere
3. Dim Sum at Park Asia
4. Pho at Hong Phat
5. Steaks with Farrell and Trixie

Regretfully missed/neglected:

1. Books
2. Man on Wire
3. Wendy and Lucy
4. Mad Men
5. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds: Dig!!! Lazarus Dig!!!

OK, top-fives are pretty manageable, I think… So what’ve you got?

Alas, I’m no longer clicking refresh on Sullivan’s—or anyone else’s—blog (it’s back to clicking refresh on NBA scores and TGW, I guess), but on the first full day of our new president’s term, I can’t help but think back on my obsession, and on all of the nasty, ignorant, incendiary, and ridiculous things that were said about Obama—many of which Sullivan posted about.

Anyway, I know I’m supposed to be looking forward, not backward, but as I say goodbye to my blog obsession and the longest presidential campaign ever (not to mention eight very long years), allow me to look back on some of my favorite statements about Obama, culled from the Dish:

Kathryn-Jean Lopez, National Review:

I think his 15 minutes as a serious contender for the presidency are about up.

Victoria Jackson (yes, formerly of SNL):

I don’t want a political label, but Obama bears traits that resemble the anti-Christ and I’m scared to death that uneducated people will ignorantly vote him into office… He pretends to be a Christian and he incriminates himself everytime he speaks about Christianity. To lie about being a believer in Christ is very dangerous. Lightning could strike him at any minute!

Kim Crawford, Velociworld:

Did I mention this man hates me? You and me? Yes he does. Why? Because he can. Yes He Can. Beneath that cool persona is a megalomaniac. Cool? Like Stalin after a purge, emotionally and sexually spent. Like Saddam after a torture session, dozing in his chair with someone’s genitals curled in his fist. Like Pol Pot after a petit mal seizure, mumbling a litany of the dead. Cool that way.

Mark Levin, National Review:

The only candidate who has surrounded himself with and befriended a freak show of racists, anti-Semites, and America haters is Barack Obama. This isn’t guilt by association. These are Obama’s life experiences. And you’d think it would be more problematic than a few people in an audience shouting out some nasty things about Obama.

Burt Prelutsky, Townhall.com:

It probably isn’t cricket to include Michelle Obama in this dirty laundry list of Barack’s associates, and yet it’s hard to simply overlook the fact that he chose to marry this nasty, bitter, openly racist ingrate.

Michael Graham, NRO:

When he is forced to fight, Sen. Obama’s inexperience shows. His record, slight as it is, is tough to defend. He’s got a glass jaw, and he will fall into the trap of identity politics. In fact, he already has. The “could we beat Obama?” conversation is purely academic. It’s over. The Clintons have defeated him already, because he is leaving South Carolina as “the black candidate.” He won’t win another state.

Mark Penn, The Atlantic:

All of these articles about his boyhood in Indonesia and his life in Hawaii are geared towards showing his background is diverse, multicultural and putting that in a new light. Save it for 2050 … I cannot imagine America electing a president during a time of war who is not at his center fundamentally American in his thinking and values. The right knows Obama is unelectable except against Attila the Hun.

Bill Kristol, Fox News Sunday:

Barack Obama is not going to beat Hillary Clinton in a single democratic primary. I’ll predict that right now.

So, I know I’m supposed to be all hopeful and gracious and inclusive, following Obama’s lead by embracing those who think differently from me, but I can’t help but feel entirely, vindictively gleeful—not just about our victory, but about their defeat.

OK, yes, sorry… y’all can go back to Hope and Change in a moment, but first, seriously—how much more satisfying is it to read all of this now?

Has it been four years already?

Yes, as you all know, the Olympics are here again. (Well, not here but in China or wherever.)

Apologies to Dave, whose (admittedly tepid) “love” for the Olympics was captured earlier this week, but here’s why I pretty much loathe the Olympics and why I hope they never come back to Los Angeles:

1. Coverage of the Olympics is super cheesy. You know what I’m talking about. Some find the heartwarming stories emotionally compelling, but mostly the overblown sentimentality just makes me gag. Slate.com captures this perfectly with their Olympics “Sap-o-Meter,” an actual web application that will keep you abreast of NBC’s saccharine Olympic coverage by keeping track of commentators’ use of “syrupy… chronically overused words” like…

adversity, battled, cancer, challenges, courage, cry, death, dedication, determination, dream, emotion, glory, golden, hardship, heart, hero, inspiration, inspire, journey, magic, memory, miracle, mom, mother, Olympic-sized, overcome, passion, proud, sacrifice, spirit, tears, tragedy, triumph.

Genius. I love you, Slate (even if the The Atlantic’s Matt Yglesias thinks you’re a center-right publication).

Plus, speaking of cheese, there was that whole fake fireworks thing:

Lame.

2. Sports are dumb and liking them is dumb, too. OK, I’ll admit that I like sports. But I also admit to being kind of dumb. Plus, I feel ashamed and guilty about liking sports because, seriously, sports are pretty silly. For one thing, people make ridiculous amounts of money playing games that make very little sense, the rules of which are often completely arbitrary. Take the-soon-to-be-discontinued Olympic sport of baseball, for instance. You’ve got nine guys standing around in a field:

One of these guys stands on a “mound’ in the field and throws a ball near another guy from the other team who’s standing at a “plate” while holding a wooden bat. They guy with the bat has three to seven (possibly more) chances to hit the ball into the field with his bat. Anyway, if the guy hits the ball, he can run around some “bases” arranged in the shape of a diamond until he’s either tagged with the ball or someone else is tagged with the ball or the ball is caught or he scores by stepping on the fourth and final base or … well, you get the idea. Four balls, three strikes, three outs, four bases, nine innings, a playing field constructed of totally random dimensions—what does it all mean? I have no clue. It’s a total mystery. And don’t even get me started on badminton.

3. (Most) athletes really aren’t that courageous, despite what sportswriters, NBC commentators, and Nike would have you believe. Or at least it’s hard for me to imagine that swimming back and forth in a pool or hitting a target with an arrow or running .0013 seconds faster than the guy next to you takes lots of courage. Until we have a competition in which people rescue infants from burning buildings, or deliver food to starving refugees under timed conditions, can we please stop referring to athletes as brave or heroic for playing games that, most likely, are kind of ridiculous to begin with? (But wait! What if they tweaked their knee or have a blister on their pitching hand, you ask? Yes, I know it’s an extreme view—but, even in these cases, let’s give up all this courage nonsense.)

4. Also, athletes are dumb and cheering for them is dumb, too. All right, they’re not dumb. In fact, some of them are incredibly smart, good people who are nice to puppies and old ladies, too. And, actually, I’m mostly in favor of the true amateur athletes. But how come nowadays there are all these super-famous pros competing in the Olympics? It’s one thing to root for amateurs competing in the little-known, un-appreciated sports like fencing (except don’t they stab each other with swords in that one?) or handball. But rooting for, say, professional American basketball players making zillions of dollars is something else entirely. Nicknamed “The Redeem Team” because, tragedy of tragedies, the “Dream Team” of four years ago only won bronze after losing to an upstart Greek team, the U.S. team is loaded with pro talent and the corresponding egos that come along with said-talent. Take this description of the recent U.S.-Angola game (from Espn.com), of a particular play involving American Superstar LeBron James:

James hadn’t done much offensively midway through the second quarter when he made his presence felt on the other end, jumping so high to block Felizardo Ambrosio’s shot that it looked more like a volleyball spike, with James glaring back at the fallen Ambrosio as the ball went out of bounds.

Seriously, how can anyone cheer-on a team with players who glare at their (completely overmatched) opponents for simply having the audacity to occupy the same court? I’m getting sick of hearing about how the U.S. needs to bring back the gold. I say let Angola have the gold.

5. Nationalism: “some say it’s OK, but I say no way.” I’m glad I’m not running for president because I would’ve just lost the election for throwing my flag pin in the trash:

I live in a country that has afforded me incredible privilege, including, ironically, the privilege to say that nationalism is dumb. I was born here, and I certainly feel lucky for that (especially after George W.’s recent comment in Beijing about how he doesn’t “see America having problems”). But I still find it troubling to root for my own country, to see us grab medal after medal as if we’re some disgustingly imperialist power-hungry superpower out to get all the glory and accolades and wealth and resources and weapons and oil and cheap goods made overseas, etc., etc., at the expense of all the other poorer, weaker countries. I mean, we don’t do that—right? (Wait, are we still talking about the Olympics here?)

I was reading an article recently about some economists that have created relatively accurate predictors of Olympic success based solely on a country’s population and wealth. Lo and behold, two of the most populous and wealthy countries in the world are leading in the medal count as I type this: the U.S. with 23 medals, China with 21. Really, it’s hard not to see our Olympic aspirations as a reflection of our country’s (and China’s) desire to achieve and/or maintain global dominance, a thinly veiled, globally sanctioned celebration of the world’s superpowers, not to mention every country’s desire to advance its own national interests. And, anyway, aren’t sports just the ultimate expression of socially acceptable–even celebrated–greed? After all, we cheer on Michael Phelps in his pursuit of a world-record 8 gold medals, but why should I want one person (much less one country) to hog up all the gold, all the glory?

Anyway, since I’m definitely not rooting for China either, my newly adopted country is going to be Togo (even though I have no idea where that is), with its one little medal (bronze), won by my newly adopted countryman, Benjamin Boukpeti, in the men’s canoe/kayak slalom:

FYI: After doing a bit of web research, I’ve learned that the country of Togo is well-known for its delicious sandwiches. I recommend the #24, with turkey and avocado.

Ouch, yikes, sorry. That was really cheesy. Regardless, I’ll start watching the Olympics in earnest as soon as either sandwich-making or -eating becomes an official event.

Should we keep up with the playlists, or are there other suggestions out there? What else might you like to see here on Thursdays?