Farrell Fawcett's six degrees of separation

I am quite proud to announce that I personally know every one of the contributors to The Great Whatsit. Yes, even the anonymous contributors. And as far as my research indicates, I am the only contributor who can claim that honor (sorry Dave and Bryan). So in the interest of helping those home viewers feel more connected to all of our delightful contributors I thought I would offer a few anecdotes about how I know them or something special about them. Or both.

Dave B: He is actually a blood relative. A second cousin to be exact. He is one of the smartest people you will ever meet. And did I mention he’s a blood relative? Also, he’s quite handsome. He’s my second cousin.

Rachel Berkowitz: I know Rachel from college where we worked on the same student newspaper. While traveling cross country once, I stayed with her in Chicago. She met me at the door with homemade chocolate chip cookies and a Tom Collins. She makes most excellent mix tapes.

Pandora Brewer: I met her in Boston as she was friends with the Watermans. There are few people who make you feel so comfortable within just a few minutes of being in their presence. She is graceful.

Cedric Cedarbrook: Can I say? Yes, he is my brother. I came first by 14 months, but he’s three inches taller. He was also once the homecoming king. And he saved my life once while traveling through India. He is so precious.

Literacy H. Dogfight: Has great taste in choosing life partners. And is always the first one out in a game of “I never.” Which is a commendable thing.

Scott Godfrey: We met through Jeremy. He has a way of making you feel special while you talk to him. Even while he is laughing at you. Seriously, it’s a gift. He’s got some kick-ass tats. And he’s perverted in the best way.

Trixie Honeycups: Can I say? I call her my wife. But we’re not married. But we’ll get there. We have an almost-two-year-old son named William. We met in med school eight years ago. Our coming together is a lovely story–for another day perhaps. She's pretty. Suffice it to say, I never thought I’d meet someone who loves mischief as much as I do. God bless. Also, she's great in bed.

Brooke Maury: My brother-in-law and dear friend. Keeps me feeling like less of a white guy. Taste in hip hop is unsurpassed. His skills with a power drill are as wicked as his turn tabling. He is funny as hell.

Lisa Parrish: I met Lisa through Bacon who knew the Watermans. Even though she is a girl, damn, she is a smartie. OK fine! Kidding. What an easygoing, pleasant, yet provocative presence. If you get the chance, plant yourself next to her at a party.

Stella: Also met her through the Watermans. Best accent ever. Also a great dresser. On our most recent visit with Stella, she schooled me (in a nice way) about the finer points of pruning our rooftop plants and elucidated the finer points of the English class system. A joy.

Lane Twitchell: We go back to my days as an undergrad in New York where he was in grad school. He was a happy participant in hopping rides on the back of delivery trucks and taxi bumper surfing in snow storms. He was also instrumental in arranging my first visits to the Lightning Field, Marfa Texas, and New York’s finest art openings.

Adriana Velez: We met through Lane. I knew her when Jasper was only a twinkle. She dresses well. And she really does make super delicious food. Her blog suits her so well.

Tim Wager: We met through Jeremy. But not until they were both visiting New York. He can drink a lot of beer and still sound academic. He’s getting married this summer. Plus, I like him.

Bryan Waterman: Except for my brother, I haven’t known any of the other folks as long as Bryan. We go back to 1991 when we met in college. Since then we have helped each other through the hardships of leaving a fundamentalist religion, taking up marriage, and starting on children. We’ve also been to some of the best live shows of my life. No one can quote song lyrics or old conversations quite like Bryan. He’s got a very special brain. And soul. Plus, he's got great hair.

Nathan Waterman: We met, obviously, through Bryan. He knows great music and he can tell you why it’s great. He is so nice while being so cool. He’s only 22, but seems like he’s 10 years older. Plus, he dates hotties.

Wendy West: We both grew up in Albuquerque, but never met until New York when Jeremy introduced us. She also has a gift for making you feel special when you talk to her.

expository essay

Jeremy Zitter: What a precious person. We go back to grad school in Long Beach in 1995. Before we really even knew each other we had simultaneous housing problems and had a hunch we’d make great roommates and we ran into a cool apartment and we moved in and soon became fast friends. One of the best things I’ve ever done. Besides Trixie, I don‘t think I‘ve been drunk with anyone else as much. Which is a great thing. And so many film festivals. And he might have the best taste of anyone I know. Also, he's gay.

zp8497586rq

64 responses to “Farrell Fawcett's six degrees of separation”

  1. But what about Ruben Mancillas, Mr. Smartypants? Have you met Ruben? (I’m not exactly sure why he doesn’t have a contributor profile yet.) If not — and I hope you haven’t — that would mean we’re actually tied, since the only contributor I haven’t met is Brooke. I know we’ve crossed paths pretty close — I’ve arrived at your house the day he left, etc. — and we’re both bass players and think about information economies way too much. That’s worth half a degree of separation. So if you haven’t met Ruben [fingers crossed] you better buy your plane tickets because the race is on.

    This post showed a side of you that sometimes gets buried by all your mischief-making: your sentimental side (which comes out most forcefully following a couple Seagrams and diet Dr. Peppers). I laughed and wiped a tear or two and raised my coffee mug in your general direction. Cheers.

  2. farrell says:

    Ah yes. Ruben Mancillas. We met three or four years ago in Long Beach. Ruben’s the kind of guy you want behind you when the bar fight starts. A general bad-ass with a libertarian streak. If he weren’t an academic and po-mo smartie pants, you could picture him living with his guns in a cabin in Montana.

    Thank you for your kind words dear brother, but you will need to book that flight soon. I raise my coffee mug in your direction. And proudly caress my six degrees trophy cup.

  3. G-Lock says:

    I’ve slept with SEVEN of the above!

  4. Bertha Vanation says:

    Cedric’s split personalities don’t count!

  5. brooke says:

    Awww! Nice post, Farrell, and nice trophy. Bryan, I know you’re busy, so I tried booking your tickets for you. Turns out it’s kinda hard. But there’s a Jet Blue flight tomorrow leaving JFK at 4:00 and arriving Oakland at 7:30 or some such.

    I can’t promise chocolate chip cookies, or a Tom Collins, but Martinis are guaranteed! See you tomorrow.

  6. Jeremy says:

    What a sweet post, Farrell, proving that, while I might be totally gay, you are at least 5% more gay.

    By the way, my friend Lisa almost posted yesterday, and for a moment I thought that would’ve ruined your chance to post this–but I believe you’ve met her as well…

  7. Scott Godfrey says:

    Ferrell,

    What a pleasant post. It reminded me of the long drives my brother, sister and I would take with our divorced dad; he would try to show that he loved us all equally by talking each of us up. Of course since he was our every-other-weekend parent, he felt a certain connection-deficit so he worked extra hard to prove that he loved us all in our uniqueness. I remember the feeling of basking in love when it was my turn for accolades. Ultimately, however, we all knew who his favorite was, and I thank you, Ferrell, for the same honor. I hope the other Whatsitsers aren’t too disappointed.

    Laugh at you? Never!

    PS: What a fucked up way to earn comments. I see right through your ploy!

  8. Jeremy says:

    You’re so right, Scotty–this seems like a savvy ploy to elicit comments by feeding off our own narcissism. Well, I, for one, am not going to fall for it… ooops!

  9. Scott Godfrey says:

    Me neither…

    Fuckin’ hell!

  10. brooke says:

    yeah seriously. farrell’s a total comment slut. but i for one want a piece.

  11. nikki. says:

    i heard you were all gay.

  12. Lisa Parrish says:

    Farrell, I love you, man. Don’t listen to these cynics.

    And please, all of you, if you plant yourselves around me simultaneously at the next party, I may suffocate. There’s time for everyone. Let’s be smart in our revelry.

  13. Lisa Parrish says:

    BTW, Jeremy — Another Lisa? How could you?

  14. Scott Godfrey says:

    And the comments keep rollin’ in.

  15. Jeremy says:

    Sorry, Lisa!

    I’ll ask the other Lisa to change her name… Yeah, definitely…

  16. you know that if tim gets home from his honeymoon and finds his comments record broken he’ll be so, so sad.

  17. Stephanie Wells says:

    I feel compelled for the sake of accuracy, and to prevent spotlight-hogging, to point out that there are many, many Literacy H. Dogfights. Do you know them ALL, Farrell? In our own way, we are all LIteracy H. Dogfight. Or at least we will be someday, perhaps.

    I myself am personally aquainted with only 9 GW contributors (10 when Lisa T jumps on), though those ten are so delightful that it makes me yearn to meet the rest of youse. G-Lock’s record for having slept with seven of them (us? . . . can’t tell!), suspect though it is, might make an even more interesting competition . . .

    And let me add a brief synopsis of one more contributor who was left out.

    Farrell Fawcett: one of the most charismatic people I’ve ever met. Widest smile, most devilish twinkle, and merriest prankster.

  18. Stephanie Wells says:

    p.s. Jeremy Zitter only wishes he were cool enough to be gay.

  19. Jeremy says:

    Incidentally, I share that comment-whore distinction with Tim, the record currently at 26 comments, and I predict it will be broken around 6:00 PST.

    p.s.: I’m not cool enough to be gay? Or I’m not gay enough to be cool? Or both?

    p.p.s.: Steph, you beat me to it. FF: One of my favorite people in this world, Farrell always makes things 10 times more interesting than I or you thought possible. And although I love him for his ever-youthful recklessness, having picked him up from jail and drunk-wrestled with him on our front lawn (countless times), I’ve also felt honored to transition into adulthood with him as one of my best friends.

  20. Scott Godfrey says:

    21.

  21. steph: i’ve *commented* as LHD if that makes you feel better.

    this is turning out to be a veritable unfogged thread, what with all this chitchat.

  22. Lisa Parrish says:

    Jeremy – “transition”? Have you had a sex-change? I thought you were just gay.

  23. Jeremy says:

    Oh, geez…

  24. bryan says:

    you should have called it for 6 EST, jeremy. you would have been closer.

  25. bryan says:

    p.s. lisa: what does “just” gay mean? are you quantifying queerness? if so, i’ll state my opinion that cedric is the gayest person on this blog.

  26. literacy h. dogfight says:

    couldn’t resist!

  27. Lisa Parrish says:

    Cedric is Super Quantum Queer, no doubt. But remember that G-Lock (who is admittedly not technically a blogger, though his lengthy comment fo “I want to spank the academy” is, in my opinion, sufficient to qualify him) has his own Madonna-centric blog. Way, way homo.

  28. P.S. welcome back, nikki. we missed you.

  29. G-Lock says:

    Bryan, are you actually calling a Queer Off?! I thought my old partying ways, sleeping with handsome men, and obsessing over Madonna spoke for itself.

  30. G-Lock says:

    Plus, I have mommy issues and HATE the post-90s Meatpacking District.

  31. but cedric cedarbrook is such a perfect name. no gangsta posing. “g-lock” doesn’t even lend itself to a sibilant S. sorry, but your boyfriend has you on this one.

  32. G-Lock says:

    I can’t believe you just outed Dr. Cedarbrook.

  33. literacy h. dogfight says:

    it’s okay. don’t cry. i still like you better. and your memoir will have a better title.

  34. I agree with LHD 100%, G-Lock. I like you better, too. I just like Cedric for his name.

    p.s. oops — I outed him? What was I thinking?

  35. trixie says:

    36.
    hell yeah. do i hear 40?

  36. Cedric Cedarbrook, MD says:

    Dr. Cedarbrook works in a clinic with a diverse patient makeup. His writings reflect the issues of his patient population, and are not necessarily his own. I can assure you that Dr. Cedarbrook is no gayer than Tom Cruise.

  37. farrell says:

    how flattering to hear steph and jeremy say such things about me. how touching. and even at the expense of inflating the comment numbers. damn. you know j., for the record, you and tim were TIED with the old f-dog here for 26 (anyone recall forever youngish?). but who’s counting right? i just love seeing all my good friends chattering away.

  38. PB says:

    How brilliant to be so warm and authentic and yet so crafty–nothing gets us talking like . . . us. Thank you, though, no one has ever described me as “graceful” before, I will follow you anywhere o-great-Loki-man.

  39. PB says:

    and for you his beloved Trixie–#40.

  40. Stella says:

    Steph writes: “I myself am personally acquainted with only 9 GW contributors (10 when Lisa T jumps on), though those ten are so delightful that it makes me yearn to meet the rest of youse.”

    I agree (though, as indicated earlier, I continue to be riled at the idea of this new so-called “Lisa”.) I hereby propose the first annual Great Whatsit Convention, to be held in some urban center at somebody’s house that’s bigger than mine.

  41. Lisa Parrish says:

    Oh, hell. The above comment is from me, Lisa Parrish, not Stella. That’s what we get for occasionaly using the same computer. Kids, don’t share computers – it’s not safe.

  42. what? lisa p. and stella share a computer? not even farrell announced that one.

  43. Stephanie Wells says:

    I nominate Farrell and Rebecca’s New Year’s Eve for the Great Whatsit Convention. I so, so want to meet you all. (We had mini-conventions of sorts at our house this summer, and if you east coasters would ever want to travel this way for a West Coast Wednesday Weekend, we would totally host too.)

  44. autumn says:

    this was really fun to read.
    there you have it – 45 is alive.

  45. literacy h. dogfight says:

    45 is the new 26.

  46. trixie says:

    ok. that’s it then. first annual TGW party is on here for new year’s. philadelphia. come before the 31st and help us get ready for our annual new year’s day open house and drunken revelry in midday otherwise known as the mummer’s day parade. be there or be square. and bring your sleeping bag and monkey costume. also, gay people are welcome, including but not limited to jeremy.

  47. trixie says:

    also, for the record, last night when i read this post, i said to farrell, “honey, this is the best TGW post ever. ” and he said, “oh please, you are crazy, now shut your piehole and go to bed” and so i did, but i just want to say that i think if comments are any indication, that this crazy piehole might have been right. anyone?

  48. G-Lock says:

    Your crazy piehole was right, my love!

    Farrell, methinks you got served!

  49. G-Lock says:

    I need an excuse to be #50, so….

    Jeremy’s gay!

  50. bryan says:

    regarding the lisa-on-lisa violence threatened above, all i have to say is: you had your day, parrish, and you chose to stick your head in the sand. out with the old, in with the new, baby.

    besides, the new lisa invited me to her bday party last month and it was a blast. did you invite me to *yours*?

  51. trixie says:

    but who’s coming to our party?
    (this isn’t to generate comments or anything…)

  52. bryan says:

    farrell — is that you sharing a computer with trixie and trading on her good name to drum up more love?

  53. farrell says:

    no, i swear, scouts honor (and that is serious business as an eagle scout) that trixie has been posting of her oun drunken free will. and despite drunkenness, her invitation to gather the TGW tribe in philadelphia is true and reality based. we look forward to a grand party. and even though dr. cedric cedars and jeremy have been outed, they are really invited, as are all the other fabulous homo contributors on this list. i have enjoyed today’s outlandishness of postings. i hope it continues on for many weeks to come. i HEART TGW. t-shirts to follow. bless yall.

  54. Dave says:

    Sweet Jesus, cuz — now you get the Most Comments trophy to add to your Knows Everybody statuette. Congratulations.

  55. Jeremy Zitter says:

    I’ll be there!

  56. we’ve been planning on it for months already, but you knew that, o sly trixie.

  57. Lisa Parrish says:

    Stella and I are in for new years! Packing our bags now!

    And Bryan, my birthday was two weeks ago, so I hereby invite you to celebrate it with me next time we see each other — even though you’re totally harshing on me for my understandable jealousy of this so-called Other Lisa, who is apparently both a wonderful person and generous in her party invitations.

  58. G-Lock says:

    Good morning!

    58!

  59. I just realized, Farrell, that your post was the 200th since this thing started. An appropriate anniversary post.

  60. The Other Lisa says:

    Where have I been, you ask? Well, I’m an observer. And maybe sometimes a commenter (62). And maybe a poster, if you all can deal with two Lisa’s. And maybe– if it’ll help– I’ll come up with a supremely witty pseudonym? Oh, right, they’ve all been taken.

    Or maybe I don’t even exist.

    Hey, and by the way, Lisa Parrish, I personally have nothing against you and happy birthday, but if you were born on August 7, we might have a doppleganger thing going. You be the good version and I’ll be evil.

    And, my two cents: Jeremy is so totally gay.

  61. bryan says:

    Which Jeremy?

  62. […] Pandora Brewer, “Miracle bra” Farrell Fawcett, “Farrell Fawcett’s six degrees of separation” Stella, “Stella’s treasure chest” […]