Ding Dong

….the witch is dead. Or is she? Are those really Sarah Palin’s legs sticking out from under the house that Obama flew in on, or are they fake ones that she rolls up at night and tucks into her bible for safe keeping?

As Lane subtly reminded us on Monday, it’s been a wild ride. Let’s revisit the bizarre resignation speech she gave the other day:


Her twisted logic is that she was “doing it for Alaska”; remaining in office as a Lame Duck governor would be “politics as usual,” so she’s decided to step down so that she can effect the changes she’s been trying to make while in office. During her flustered and nervous speech, she rambled from sound bite to sound bite about tapping Alaska’s “god-given” natural resources for human use, Big Government, special interests, and stated that she wanted to work to “advance the country” outside of government.

If you prefer, here is a more pleasant synopsis of her announcement:


What are the real reasons for her resignation? Here are some theories:

1. Palin alluded to “political operatives” digging up dirt and to several ethics charges that have been brought against her. She mentioned a $500,000 price tag that has been racked up defending herself against these charges.
Is she so deeply in debt from her own legal defense that she has to step down? How would that work? What job could she possible get that would pay her more than the Alaska Governorship? And who in their right mind would hire her?

2. There are more serious charges (embezzlement?) being levied against her right now that, if they come to light during her time in office, would create much more embarrassment for her and her family, and she would then be stepping down in defamation rather than (her version of) holding her head high.

3. Poor, beleaguered Sarah is being railroaded out of office by some mysterious evil (The Mainstream Liberal Media? The Democratic Party? The Abortionists? The Gays?) – or perhaps……the GOP itself, having realized what a mistake it was to nominate her as McCain’s running mate.

4. There has been a recent complaint that she is violating Alaska’s ethics code by collecting a per diem while living at her own home, which is tantamount to giving herself a raise. She may have decided that it’s not worth the trouble of being in public office if this extra income is disallowed.

5. Sarah Palin is planning on running for President in 2012, and she somehow sees stepping down as her own “maverick” move. Perhaps she’s avoiding the spotlight while the aforementioned shit hits the fan, and as soon as she clears her name, she’ll re-appear as the New Improved Palin-for-President.

6. She’s been offered a talk show, which not only pays better than being Governor, but will give her time to rant all she wants, as well as more credibility than she has now.

7. God told her to leave.

Okay, I believe that I’ve stated all the obvious speculations; what are your theories?

12 responses to “Ding Dong”

  1. g.a. says:

    Her kids blackmailed her into quitting?

  2. lane says:

    I want to put out one of my interests in Sarah Palin the politician. I actually feel sorry for her and identify with her. She is clearly so far in over her head in her life that as I watch her I have this feeling like:

    “God, if I were governor, that’s what i would do, quit.”

    “If Charlie were interviewing me on primetime network television that’s what I would sound like, an idiot.”

    I can’t help but think, that Sarah Palin, in some sense really does represent all of us,” the completely unqualified for national office us.”

    And she makes the Clintons and the Obamas and the Reagans and the elder Bushes all the more amazing.

  3. Dave says:

    I give it a 60% chance that there’s more dirt to come out. 40% chance that she’s just resigning because she’s erratic. (100% chance that she’s erratic, of course.)

    What’s interesting about Palin isn’t the woman herself — she’s a run-of-the-mill huckster with a lot of meanness and ambition; you can find her type running megachurches or contracting companies all over the country. She does have a fair amount of political talent — not enough to withstand the national spotlight, obviously, but more than most people. What’s interesting to me, though, is the people who love her, identify with her, make her into a cause. I think she strikes a deep chord with authoritarian followers (in Altemeyer’s sense). She is a total insider to the social/religious conservative milieu, and she hits all the shibboleths, down to the wacky accent, special needs child, trouble with her teen daughter, all of it. In fact, I’m betting she’s one of Alemeyer’s “double highs” — an authoritarian follower who’s also a “social dominator,” a particularly amoral, almost sociopathic type who will do or say whatever it takes to get ahead. Double highs, in Altemeyer’s telling, are perfectly suited to developing a fanatical following among plain authoritarian followers who are afraid of people not like themselves.

  4. Scotty says:

    She’s cutting her losses in Alaska and will hit the six-figure-per-lecture road, which will serve a couple of purposes: it will make her a better orator; it will earn her a bunch of money; and it will keep her in the public-eye, but slightly under the radar. She will also be working on her book, and will be putting together a new team of handlers.

    Make no mistake: she will be back.

  5. Tim says:

    Unfortunately, I think Scotty is right, or at least that’s Palin’s plan. She doesn’t have much of a track record for sticking to things, though, so maybe after a couple months of flying to Peoria and Wichita, giving the same speech over and over (“Does anyone know the difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull?”) for diminishing speaker’s fees she’ll scrap that and do the shuck-and-jive in a different direction.

  6. Dave says:

    I do think she’ll be back, but it doesn’t look like she’s got what it takes to make a viable presidential run. I hope I’m wrong — it would be great for her to inspire her base enough that they’d resent whoever actually won the primary, and it would be even better if she could somehow win the primary and become the nominee. She’s wildly popular with a core group, but she turns most people off.

    She’ll probably just get a show on Fox or something.

  7. swells says:

    You all are almost convincing me that it might be a good thing to have her running against Barack, a safe thing, when I have been harboring such irrational dread of her from the first second I saw her. There’s something about her appeal, and my mistrust of America, that I find just terrifying–see Tim’s original doomsaying predictions on the subject (sorry, can’t link from the new format, but it would have been right around the Sept. 1 post of last year).

  8. swells says:

    p.s. Jen: Really funny opening image: fake legs rolled up in the Bible.

  9. Adriana says:


  10. I could care less what Sarah Palin does, but since I’ve been introduced to the subject, my guess is that she’s either pregnant or contemplating adopting and doesn’t want her child and her gynecology record smeared everywhere.

  11. lane says:

    i agree with dave. i think she’s a fascinating addition to our political culture. crazy, but fascinating. it would be great if she could hang in there, but she won’t. the power players in the red party know that she’s nuts and she’s blown whatever credibility she could have built.

    in a way it’s too bad. imagine if she’d gone back up north and just buckled down and gotten as well positioned as hillary clinton.

    what other ladies are out there to ascend to hillary like heights? and is hillary over?

  12. swells says:

    Condoleeza Rice?