Peeing in the sink

Over the July 4th weekend a few friends were in town and several delightfully drunken evenings were spent lounging on our deck talking about many different topics. At one point, as conversation inevitably tends to do, the subject turned to scatology.

Our friend Andrea told the story of a friend of hers who was dating a man who had a strange shower habit. He enjoyed shitting in the shower and then squishing the shit down the drain with his toes. Her friend who discovered her boyfriend’s habit was apparently uncertain about what this habit meant and exactly how to proceed with the relationship. It was a great story and everyone listening agreed that it was a highly disturbing behavior and that there were a variety of theories to explain why someone would do this. Everyone also agreed that she should definitely end the relationship. The details of this conversation and the behavioral theories could be a blog in itself–especially for a psychiatrist–but I have other things to discuss.

You see, later the conversation turned to another bathroom phenomenon: People who pee in the sink. It has become known to certain of my friends that I have been known to do this. Yes. Me. I sometimes pee in the sink. There I’ve said it. And I don’t feel guilty. But I need to explain my logic and the important guidelines I’ve established.

1.) Pee is sterile.

2.) Sinks are unsterile

3.) People spit in their sink every day and occasionally vomit there.

adobe creative suites

4.) I don’t pee in my friends' sinks.

5.) I don’t pee in the kitchen sink.

6.) I run the water while I pee.

7.) I never shit in the sink.

8.) I don’t pee in the sink when there is a urinal nearby.

9.) I don’t pee in the tub unless I‘m showering in it.

10.) If I notice that any pee has missed the drain, I wipe it down.

11.) I keep the water running after I finish peeing while washing my hands.

12.) Peeing in the sink, although more readily accomplished by males, is not in any way limited to the male sex.

13.) Peeing in the sink feels good.

bathroom sink 2.jpg

If you follow these simple rules, you can enjoy a life of responsible guilt-free sink-peeing. Now some of you might have some objections to these rules or even a few rules of your own. I look forward to hearing them. In the meantime I should also confess that I wait for the day that a Hollywood movie includes full frontal of a man peeing in the sink. I also await the day that it features a woman doing it too. Also, for the record, Trixie doesn’t mind that I pee in the sink, and sometimes, if the timing is right, she does it too. Now go find yourself a woman like that!

Oh, and while you’re at it, check out these photos.


18 responses to “Peeing in the sink”

  1. it’s not a hollywood movie, exactly, but Big Love had an episode in which the crazy old polygamist grandpa peed in his son’s suburban kitchen sink.

    so — the idea is that this is more sanitary than handling a toilet seat with your hands, even in your own house?

    also, was the consensus that this fellow’s shower tricks should have been a rule-breaker? did people come up with other lines they would not be willing to cross for love?

  2. farrell says:

    bryan dear,

    thank you for your thoughtful questions. as to whether peeing in the sink is more sanitary in your own home that picking up the toilet seat–well, as a scientific-method respecting citizen i cannot say whether that is true or not. myth busters have not taken on that issue. my only point is that it is just plain easier and pleasurable.

    and yes, the consensus was absolutely 100% that shitting in the shower is a rule-breaker, end of relationship, no questions asked, change your phone number.

    as per any other lines/behaviors that people were unable to brooke, i can’t remember that part of the conversation. perhaps andrea, baiken, dave, steph, or trixie can help me out with those recollections. it’s definitely fodder for an interesting blog.

  3. Ruben Mancillas says:

    Rules? In a knifefight? I have always thought of peeing in the sink as kind of a free and easy/personal freedom kind of move so it doesn’t require further endorsement from me (though I was quite a proponent of shower pissing myself-when exceedingly drunk aim for something you KNOW you can hit) but thirteen different rules for said behavior would seem to take at least a little bit of the fun out of it.

    But my sympathy, alarmingly, is with our friend with the questionable toes. I think he has, well, fill in the blank, I was going to go with either taken too much shit or caught too much crap. I mean, “her friend who discovered her boyfriend’s habit” doesn’t tell the whole story in my opinion. C’mon, she was doing it with him and then got freaked out after the fact and had to run it by someone else to see if she was “sick” or not, right? I am also thinking of the degree of trust (“Um, honey, you know how you really like to do certain things you can’t fully explain?…well I do too”) he must have had to open up about such a preference only to be sneered at by enlightened sink and shower pissers like ourselves. I wonder how many points his “massaging shit down the drain with your toes” list has on it?

    As for why anyone would do it? In Crimes and Misdemeanors (which Allen rips off for Match Point by the way-he’s entitled I suppose but still, the mistress/murder plot is almost exactly the same) Woody’s sister calls him crying and recounts her tale of dating that ended with her tied to the bed and a man defecating on her chest and then leaving. When he repeats the story to his ex-wife she asked why the guy did it. Woody sighs and wipes his hand over his face, “Is there anything I could possibly say that would be a satisfactory answer to what I just told you?”

    Great post

  4. oops. instead of “rule-breaker” i meant “deal-breaker.” should it have been a deal-breaker? i’m not so sure, partly for reasons ruben indicates. people do freaky things. as long as no one’s getting hurt, who’s to say whose freaky things are too freaky?

  5. andrea says:

    well, i hope i was not the andrea from your poop story because god all mighty, even with my past, i never knew a shower shitter or anyone who did…
    i did date a man once because, for a frozen food party i had that involved a prize for the best frozen food, he made piss-cicles. and he won. though, eventually i lost months, even years of my love life to him. ha.

  6. i think dave told the original story, not andrea.

  7. Dave says:

    Yeah, I read it in some advice column recently.

    I’ve gotta say, I am completely opposed to shower or sink pissing. There are different drains for different types of waste, and we designate toilets for piss and shit. Sending piss down the wrong drain totally violates my sense of cultral cleanliness taboo.

  8. robert wire says:

    I have witnessed sink-micturition by a member of the opposite sex (i am male. opposite of me.)
    It was undertaken with ease in a drunken stupor in a filthy bar in a bathroom worthy of a scene from a Danny Boyle movie. I would also say that it was oddly endearing for a moment, but as the urea-laden liquid trailed toward its destination, it sent roaches the other direction.
    I advise sink peeing, for either sex, to be undertaken in the home…

  9. […] Farrell Fawcett, “Peeing in the sink” Scott Godfrey, “The lüv that dare not speak its name” Stella, “I’m OK, I’m OK” Jeremy Zitter, “Dealing with divorce: a child’s guide” […]

  10. John Wayne says:

    Pissing in the sink uses less water than a toilet flush
    It is more comfortable to pee in a sink because of its height
    Doesn’t make as much noise
    Avoids the splashing that occurs from pissing in a toilet
    You dont have to worry about waking someone up with the sound of a flushing toilet
    A few handfuls of water brings everything down the drain
    People do it for some reason

  11. John Wayne says:

    Oh, I almost forgot. There is a film where the man character repeatedly pees in the sink, “The Dreamers.”

  12. Farrell Fawcett says:

    Hey John,

    These are good additions to the ever-expanding list of defenses for peeing in the sink. Thanks Mr. Wayne, and how did you happen to come across this post/site?

    I must admit that since composing this essay, I’ve become more self-conscious of the act. My plumbing projects over the past year have brought me into intimate contact with sink drains and the mechanics of the “sink trap” and its effect on drainage. Most know that traps serve an important purpose of keeping sewer gasses from escaping back up through the pipe. The water that accumulates in the trap keeps that from happening, but that column of water also means that other liquids (urine, barf) mix there and require a good deal of water to move them over the curve of the trap. I don’t think most consider that fact. I think it might be more water that just a few handfuls. It might need a surge. Kind of like the flush/rush of water in a toilet that carries the contents of the bowl over the internal trap. Also, unlike the visibility of a toilet bowl (you are essentially looking at the column of water in the trap) and your immediate awareness of whether the trap is cleared, you can’t see when a sink’s trap has been entirely flushed.

    I guess what I’m saying here is that my enthusiasms for peeing in the sink have been greatly diminished by my recent reflections on the mechanics of sink plumbing. If you do pee in a sink, use more water than you might think necessary. Be considerate. For all of urine’s sterility, it still has an odor and is a ready repository for bacteria.

    The title of this post would now be “Peeing in the sink–do it with infrequency, lots of water, and great consideration”

  13. Dave says:

    It might need a surge.

    But then you have to wait till September to find out whether the surge is working.

    This post brings lots of strange Google searches to our site. More than any other except one of Cedric’s.

  14. Bryan says:

    examples please, dave!

  15. Dave says:

    It’s the one on increasing ej/aculatory distance, if you must know. (Google-proofed to avoid even more traffic.)

  16. trixie says:

    and mr fawcett, i appreciate your continued reflection and accountability on the topic of in sink micturition

  17. Bryan says:

    15: no, dave — i meant examples of the google searches that lead people here. what are they seeking for when they turn up farrell’s pee post in their results? or cedric’s ejaculation distance? don’t you have a sheet that shows you the google search combinations that lead people here? those are the examples i was looking for.

  18. Rebecca says:

    I just got here because from doing a Google Image Search for “sink.” I clicked on the sink depicted here (it’s a nice sink) and the title at the top of the screen was just too irresistable. So I had to read the post.

    I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of people get here just searching “peeing in the sink” though. Lots of people use Google to try to validate or contest the validity of various habits…