The deed is done

Some readers — notably this one, this one and this one — thought this day would never come.

After the catastrophe of discovering its soft top leaked like Aldrich Ames, after the horror of finding the top wouldn’t go up and down properly, after the fright of the ill-fitting valve cover, I have finally seen the light. After the annoying fender bender that ended with the other driver threatening (still-unfiled) legal action, after paying a whopping $550 to repair a faulty turn signal indicator, after freaking out at its 18-MPG efficiency, I am ending our long national nightmare.

Fare thee well, Satanvertible. We hardly knew ye.


I didn’t drive it off a cliff, as I’d once threatened. I didn’t donate it to charity. It didn’t run off to find further fame and fortune in Hollywood.

I did the boring thing: I traded it in. For something sensible.

After considering buying something wacky like this or this, I settled on a nice, smart, sensible 2007 Toyota Corolla. Got a good price, as it’s the last week of the year, and fortunately they had something other than the ubiquitous silver, white or black that all cars seem to come in these days. Plus, in a nod to my wild convertible days, it has a rear spoiler, whatever the hell that particular piece of equipment does.

not my actual car, but a reasonable facsimile

(this is not my actual car, but a reasonable facsimile)

I’m glad to not have to rush out and pull a tarp over the Satanvertible every time it rains, and I’m especially glad not to pay for the brake job that I suspect was coming up in the next month or two. And I’ll be glad to be able to fit family and friends into the back seat when they come to visit, and really glad when I don’t have to fill the tank so often.

But all the same, I’ll miss that old piece of crap Satanvertible. It brought me joy and tears, like so many other things during my first year in LA. It was the rickety old lemon that after a good wash still managed to look like a hot sports car, and it occasionally turned heads. It did have its TGW fans as well — thank you, and you. (OK, Trixie’s wasn’t a fan comment, but I wanted to post it anyway.)

Anyway, bon voyage, Satanvertible. May your road be traffic-free and your interior piney-fresh.

17 responses to “The deed is done”

  1. lane says:

    use of that silly made up “satanvertilble” (4 TIMES! no less) word made this post really funny.

    but . . .

    “i want to plant a poop tree” REALLY brought it home!

    Delightful! (and congratulations!)

  2. Marleyfan says:

    It’s about time. Congrats. And, I still don’t understand the poop-tree reference.
    R.I.P. Satanvertible

  3. swells says:

    Wow–I never thought I’d see the day! What’s the name of your newest buggy?

  4. lane says:

    marley, we know, we don’t either, THAT’S what makes it funny.

    come on! . . . POOP TREE! that’s REALLY FUNNY!

  5. j-man says:

    OMG! I can’t believe it! ‘Lizbeth, ahm comin’ home!

  6. j-man says:

    Plus, yeah, “I want to plant a poop tree” is just about the funniest comment ever written.

  7. Kate the Great says:

    Awwww, but I like the wacky choices! They’ll make heads turn, tooooo!

    Still. What you got is….cute. And we all know how much I dislike cute.
    It’s your car, not mine.

  8. Jane says:

    If only your wacky choice was a metallic, mint-green Buick Skylark instead of a blue one…then you could have accidentally stolen from a mini-mart, been accused of murder, and sent to “Federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison.”

    My Cousin Vinny, anyone?

    Congrats on your new car.

  9. j-man says:

    I think you should still get a vintage car, as a supplement to your sensibility.

  10. Natasha says:

    Jane, before I even finished reading your comment, I was about to mention “My Cousin Vinny,” my favorite movie of all times!
    “My Father was a mechanic, my brother was a mechanic, my cousin was a mechanic,” It’s my favorite Marisa Tomei role.
    Congrats on your new hot-rod, Lisa! You should have told me, you are looking for one. I directly work with Toyota and Lexus; I would have taken you through the back door:) Well, if you need any accessories: an i-pod connection, tires, an entertainment system, let me know. You should never pay $500 bucks for a light. Toyota is a good choice. It’s the least depreciating car on the market right now. 35,000 bumper-to-bumper, 60,000 powertrain, runs forever.
    That Mitsubishi though was a good car (they normally don’t last that long), it must have loved you very very much.

  11. Natasha says:

    Most people don’t know that, but lemons aren’t all bad. Most of them come with extended warranty and a lot of them are lemons for very silly reasons. Most people think that “lemon” and “salvage” is the same thing, that’s why lemons are bad for resale.

  12. lane says:

    natasha, my biological clock is ticking here.

  13. Marleyfan says:


  14. LP says:

    1: The “Satanvertible” moniker was one of the things that made me like the car, despite its many flaws. There’s something great about having a ridiculous name for your ridiculous car. And to that end…

    3: Swells, not sure what the new car shall be dubbed. I don’t know it well enough yet.

    5: I knew you would be pleased.

    10: D’oh! Why didn’t I think to ask? Thanks for the offer, Natasha – and I may take you up on the offer to help with an ipod adapter. Also, for the record, I didn’t pay $550 for the turn signal light, but the turn signal stick thing that protrudes from the steering wheel column. Apparently, Mitsubishis, aka Satanvertibles, are so diabolically complicated that even such a simple thing costs many hundreds of dollars.

  15. lane says:

    get it ?

    two really funny words.

  16. Tim says:

    It seems pretty clear to me what a poop tree is. If you don’t know by now, it’s too late for you to learn.

  17. ruben says:

    don’t mind me, I’m just sitting here waiting for Scott to tell us about his favorite Marisa Tomei role…