Back when I lived in Washington, Stella and I used to join a few friends for poker evenings. We’d get a bottle of scotch, a pack of cards and some poker chips, and spend a couple of hours chatting and playing Texas Hold ‘em. These evenings were usually more about conversation than about serious cards, but we did buy in for real money and there were some occasionally spectacular hands.
When Davey B. moved to New York, we lost one of our stalwart players. Game nights started happening less frequently, and when they did happen, the ratio of conversation to actual card playing grew ever more gaping. No one seemed to really want to play but me, so eventually the card nights pretty much died out.
After I moved to LA, I started gathering some of my new friends for poker nights. We had rousing evenings about once every couple of months, and although the games were still more social than competitive, I loved the combination of conversation and sport. I found myself wanting to play more. And wanting to win.
Then, I met RB. One of the first things I invited her to was a poker night at my house. Turned out, she was a poker aficionado – she played regularly, and even went occasionally to the casinos in the LA area. Excellent! Maybe she could teach me how to play better! Maybe we could even go to a casino, a notion that both thrilled and scared me. This was exciting!
She invited me to a poker evening hosted by a close friend of hers. There were two tables, one for a $40 buy-in, and one for higher rollers (including a well-known TV actor who showed up in a trucker hat) at $100. We sat down at the $40 game, and I proceeded to win numerous hands, fool everyone at the table, and leave with more than twice my buy-in. It was a really good night.
The next time we played, we went to a tournament hosted at a friend’s house. This was different: You couldn’t leave when you felt like it, simply cashing out your chips. You played until someone won, and only that person made money. The second-place finisher got their buy-in back, and everyone else lost. Not surprisingly, I lost. Hmph, I thought. So much for tournaments.
The third time we played, we went to the casino. I was incredibly nervous, and insisted that we go to the bar to get a sandwich and a beer before sitting at a table. RB and I managed to get seated at the same table (not a given if the casino is busy), and bought in for our $40 each. That night, as at the first poker evening, I got awesome hands, played fearlessly, bluffed successfully, and left with far more money than I’d come with. Wow! This was fun!
I remember thinking that one of two things was happening: either I was a really good poker player and this was gong to be a fun, possibly lucrative pastime; or I had gotten lucky in two of my first three serious games and it would all be downhill from here. I even had this conversation with another friend, joking that winning those first games might end up being the worst thing that ever happened to me.
We kept playing. I bet impatiently at a family game during the Fourth of July weekend and lost money to my Republican lobbyist cousin. We went back to the casino a couple of times, and while RB split about evenly, I lost money. We played a few more times with friends, and I lost those games, too. Every once in a while, I’d break even or win a little, but overall I was losing money. Then I felt both irritated and guilty – what kind of nutjob goes to a casino and loses money, when there were so many important things that money could go to?
This wouldn’t do. It was fun to play, but I wanted – needed – to win if I was going to allow myself to continue playing. I began keeping a spreadsheet of what I was losing, to make sure I didn’t end up broke or in Gambler’s Anonymous. I started playing for fake money, online, to try to improve my game. I watched some poker on TV, and got a poker tips DVD from Netflix. I asked RB for advice, and asked her to watch while I played online, to tell me what she’d do differently. I vowed not to return to the casino until I knew what I was doing.
In short, I was completely inside my own head. Which is, of course, the surest way to lose money if you’re playing a game like poker. But slowly, I began to improve. I learned a few tips and started getting a grip on what the odds were for certain hands to win or lose. I began winning in the online poker games. I did better in the games at friends’ houses – one guy, a longtime, serious poker player, remarked that I seemed to have improved quite a bit. Then, last week, I finally won a tournament among that same group of people. Hurrah! I felt like a huge load had been lifted. Like I finally knew what I was doing.
Yeah, well. We went to the casino again this past weekend, and RB broke even while I lost money. Again. Damn, this game is tough, and I feel like such a dope when I lose! I think I might be done with the casino. But then again, I’ve said that before.
NB: I feel like even more of a dope posting this, considering yesterday’s very poignant TGW post. But I decided to go ahead and lay it all out there, my frivolous account of losing good money at a morally ambiguous pastime. Is gambling a wretched excess? Or is it simply entertainment, a pastime you might spend money on like you’d spend money on a show or a round of paintball? I’m torn. But if only I could start winning money regularly, or at least breaking even, I wouldn’t have to worry about it, right?
You know, I haven’t had a good poker group since I left D.C. Those were fun times.
Poker is gambling, but it’s not stupid gambling like slot machines or other casino games. You’re playing against other people; the game is fiendishly complex, with all kinds of subtle mathematical and psychological skills involved. If you’re losing money slowly, it’s totally worth it. If you’re losing lots of money, then it starts to be a problem.
If you don’t hear from me for a while, I’ll be down in Atlantic City at a $2/4 table.
Also, I love “N.B.” and recommend it be read out loud as the Latin expression it abbreviates.
I felt sheepish commenting on a post of such gravity.
Very Moving, by the way.
And now it’s back to the races!
Thanks LP.
And boy oh boy, I’m workin’ on a piece!
peace
Yesterday’s post that is . . .
the one of such gravity.
Ooo! A post about poker. I love poker. I wish I had the guts to play it at a casino, though I’m doing a pretty good job of losing money on it at home…
I love friendly poker games; JZ, Mr. Mancillas, and I are occasionally part of a larger group, though we haven’t met in a couple of months. When I lose, I always have the same internal justification: “That would’ve been like one or two hands at Vegas, and really, I had a great time for the last four hours. It was worth paying for.”
Poker at a casino, I’m not too sure about. I like games in which one is playing against the house. That way you feel a sense of unity with your table-mates — much more fun.
Is this a post about poker or about gambling? I’ve always enjoyed card games, including the social/skill/betting components of poker, but like LP I have struggled to find congenial card buddies over the years since leaving the college and grad school crowds.
On the other hand, unlike LP I have absolutely no attraction to gambling myself. But the first time we went to a casino, E&J’s Daddy lit up like he’d been given drugs — so there hasn’t ever been a second casino trip.
I like games in which one is playing against the house. That way you
feel a sense of unity with your table-mates — much more fun.inevitably lose money over the long run in return for the privilege of sitting in an ugly room with headache-inducing lighting, inhaling secondhand smoke and drinking cheap booze.I feel like a spoilsport about poker. I don’t get the appeal of it. I love card games — faves are cribbage, cassino, and rummy. But poker doesn’t really seem to be about the cards, it’s about the wager, and wagering has never held much appeal for me. Cards are beautiful things, I love the way they look, the way they feel in your hands.
I’ve played a lot with a group of family friends…I’ve only won once. I think the appeal is the risk…but it is a risk hinging on your skill, your wit, and your cunning. Smart people fancy themselves good at poker. I learned that 1: either I am not that smart, or 2: that being smart doesn’t do shit when you can not tell a lie.
LP,
Come to Wenatchee and play with us. My wife and I are going to a home-game held at our best friends home tomorrow night. These friends even host two women’s league tournaments called Tits On Tilt. The party tomorrow should be fun, except, I’m usually one of the only two guys there, with twenty or so women. Which usually would be like perfect, except the majority of them are lesbian. Our two best friends (a lesbian couple) even call me their D.H. (no, it’s not designated hitter, it stands for Designated Husband). You know, move the heavy stuff, prune their big tree, etc. Anyway, let us know when your coming our way, and we’ll get a game going…
Seriously LP this is why I love you.
“ROUNDERS” have you seen it? So cool.
Unfortunately I only play games that I know I can win. So Poker is way out for me. WAY too expensive. But I love that people do it. And can make a living at it.
In college I lost 20 bucks at the craps tables in Wendover just for the experience. I’m glad I did it. I was out there with a friend that was a reasonably good Black Jack player. He has a head for numbers.
I say if you can do it, do it!
The thought of you sittin’ there with some dumb Florida Marlins cap and wrap around shades on is SO COOOOOOOOOL!
8: You make an excellent point here. RB and I were just discussing why I always seem to lose at the casino, but do well at home games. Perhaps it’s because the atmosphere at the casino is rather unpleasant — too many glassy-eyed poker addicts, chomping down chicken wings while talking about how much they love Sarah Palin.
The other problem with casino poker, at least the cash games, is that people don’t seem to care how often they lose. They’ll call your bluff every time, and if you do have the cards and they lose — no problem! They just whip out another $100 bill and buy in again. Honestly, the casino’s the only place where you can see dozens of blue-collar types whipping out crisp 100s every 10 minutes. It’s weird.
11: It is even more perfect, is it not, that all the women are lesbians? And thank you for the invitation! Who knew Wenatchee had so many charms?
12: I haven’t seen Rounders yet, though it’s in the Netflix queue. And you’ve hit on something here: I probably should get a Marlins hat and wraparound shades. I think I need to inflict a little more fear at the casino tables. The gap t-shirts and librarian glasses aren’t cutting it.
I seriously started gambling when I hit $1200 in slots the first time around, but Black Jack is my baby. It has the best odds. We go to Vegas once every 2-3 months just for that and I even considered gambling professionally, but realized that I have no breaks and no common sense when it comes to thrills. Don’t know much about Poker though and will take a look at that Poker room next time I have a chance, thanks Lisa!
Lane, “Rounders” rock! “21″ was good too.
I just stink at poker and any card game involving money. Even when I sit down with people who play with beans or candy or something representing money but is not actually money, I have to ask someone to explain the rules to me. And I’ll play, but not very well because I’m new. And then the next time I sit down to play the same game, I have to ask for the rules again.
Come to think of it, I’m like that with all card games. You can mention a card game and I can tell you whether I’ve played it, but if you suggest a game right after you’ve asked me, I have to ask how to play it.
But strangely enough, I love Solitaire. Maybe my problem is that I just don’t get out often enough to play with other people.
Natasha, you are Russian, right?
How cool, Russians must have gambling in their blood. What with all the gun play and shit.
Do you smoke too? I love the idea of you sitting at the tables, smoking, drinking . . . well Vodka of course, mumbling to your lover with a cool accent and hitting 21.
And just so all my cards are up. I’m a professional gambler as well.
Marcel Duchamp taught me everything I know!
I’ve recently become a poker convert, thanks to Parrish & RB. It is an interesting game, although I’ve never played for real money, so I might not find it so interesting when I start losing real money. But it’s fun to play for chips, especially when trying to figure out whether Parrish is bluffing or not. That girl is sneaky.
J-Man is a poker monster just waiting to be born. I’m afraid to bring her to cash games! Afraid she’ll put us all in the poorhouse.
Maybe I should start mumbling in Russian and drinking vodka at the casino. That might intimidate someone. Especially if I’m wearing my Marlins hat!
LP! Good story, as always. I just wanted to recommend a really fun book about gambling called Bringing Down the House. Anyone who enjoys gambling (or other questionably legal activities) will most likely find this a very enthralling holiday read. It is about a group of MIT students who figured out a terrific system for beating Vegas et al. (Until the House inevitably came down on them.)
I absolutely abhor the atmosphere of casinos (and I have really only walked through a few to get to a bathroom or a Denny’s), and maybe it’s that that makes you lose your mojo. Too many skanky/skeevy/greasy/etc types to watch and be disturbed by to focus on the task at hand: your hand.
May the force be with you next time it’s “winner takes all” night at the lesbian poker lounge, wherever that may be. Wish I had a poker klatch…or lived closer to ya’ll who enjoy the casual-serious home game.
Speaking of card games, is pinochle any fun? I was buying a deck of cards the other day and did not pay any attention to the writing on the box which specified that it was non-standard. Should I learn how to use it?
LoL, Lane, tell the truth, did we ever play at the same table together and you just never mentioned to me that you were the cool professional gambler from TGW? Ironically, Mike Mentzer (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGyfZi-yq1k) taught me how to smoke, well, and philosophy too. Who is Marcel Duchamp?
Guns is my another secret passion yet to be explored. Have you seen “Lord of War”?
TMK
we’re talking grown-up games here!
Pinochle!?!
GROW UP!
Natasha,
Who is Marcel Duchamp?
Truly one of the world’s great gamblers. He was an artist, a contemporary of Picasso. He developed various ways to make stuff to put in museums that don’t look anything like traditional paintings and sculpture.
Basically, he’s the whole reason the general public HATES contemporary art.
And he loved chess and roulette. Chess mostly. He was really into the conceptual strategy of chess but also the aura of “The Gambler”
My last cell phone had as it’s flip-top photo an image of Duchamp’s “Monte Carlo Bond” which was some crazy thing he sold to rich people while summering in the south of France.
And on the inside of that same phone was a digital image of two words “Tumbling Dice.”
I’m a desperate man doing desperate things.
And LP, yes on the vodka and the mumbling in Russian (weird that you could actually do that!) And ROUNDERS! you gotta see ROUNDERS!
It has Russians!
oh and #8
nice netiquette!
LP, super fun story. I love how dedicated you were throughout! Your pursuit of self-improvement is what makes this story so compelling to me. Jeez, I can’t remember the last time i was so interested in something (photography?)… maybe I need to try poker.
ps. your poker graphics make awesome breaks. Great style!