Have you ever watched surfing on TV? You see those buff guys gliding across the glassy water and think, “That looks easy! And fun!” Yeah, that’s what I thought, too. Then I took a lesson.
RB and I went down to Santa Monica last week to try our luck in the roiling Pacific. Tip #1: If you’re going to try surfing for the first time, pick a calmer ocean. Or even a nice gulf. Because in the Pacific, you will swallow several gallons of water and get tossed about like a defenseless pair of socks in a washing machine. Especially, as it turns out, if you go on a fall day just as a rainstorm is rolling in.
Things started off well. Our instructor, Brendan, was the quintessential stoner surfer dude, ready to take on sharks with a sharp piece of driftwood he packed on the leg of his wetsuit. He gave us wetsuits to wear, then took us to the beach to give us our first Surfing for Dummies lesson.
Beware of the Snowy Plover rehabilitation area! Or, more accurately, beware of busybody joggers who will yell at you if you step into the Snowy Plover rehabilitation area.
After a bit of instruction, Brendan led us out into the surf…
… and RB followed bravely with her bright pink board.
She got to her feet a couple of times, but took a few headers into the surf.
I charged into the ocean with my yellow banana board, trying unsuccessfully to keep from getting tangled in the leash…
And sadly, friends, that was as good as I ever looked. Here’s a clip taken at the end of an hour’s worth of surfing, when I am already too exhausted to seriously attempt standing up, and simply ride the wave into the sloping, gravelly beach a few yards away from where the waves were breaking.
It’s all the more embarrassing to watch this now, seeing how tiny those waves look. They felt monstrous! I was getting clobbered, I swear! I was exhausted! Even if it looks like we went “surfing” in particularly ripply pond.
That clip is so awesome. I’m sure the waves were huge.
i agree with dave.
everyone knows that waves look a lot smaller on video.
The camera takes off, like, 15,000 acre-feet or so.
Which it then adds to your butt. Seriously, don’t wear a wetsuit if you want to look good.
3. I wanted to make a similar comment, but was too lazy to look up the appropriate volumetric unit.
I tried surfing only once, down at Manhattan beach. I got my ass kicked by some extra-big surf (it was seriously big, and not just camera-slimming big) that I didn’t have the experience to recognize. So when all of the real surfers were coming in, I was trying to paddle out. A big one caught my board and slapped my flat in the face (I was lucky to keep my front teeth). Good times. I have got to try it again with someone that actually knows what he/she is doing.
My favorite part is RB’s shouting “Vict-o-ry!” as you sprawl in the surf. Too good.
You look exhausted. I don’t blame you one bit for falling on your knees in the water and crawling.