The following excerpt is from an interview CBS’s Rita Braver conducted with televangelist Pat Robertson. The interview aired on CBS News Sunday Morning on April 9, 2006. A brief quiz follows.

Robertson is describing a woman he met during a trip to Israel:

Pat Robertson: She was crying out for mercy and saying, “Oh God, help me,” because she had such bad asthma… this haunting woman, she looked like — she really looked like she was terrified — very attractive — striking brunette, 45 years old, you know thin, 5’8″ kinda thing. And — she had this look in her eyes. And — so I went in, and my wife was with me. And they took the two chairs and I sat on the bed.

And I said, “Tell me about your problem.” And she said, “I’ve got this asthma.” And I said, “Have you been to the doctor?” And — and she said, “Yes. The doctor said my asthma was caused by praying with nuns.”

Pat Robertson:
…And I said, “A doctor?”

Rita Braver:
That sounds —

PR:
“A doctor?”

RB:
— that sounds like – you should’ve advised her, “Maybe go see another doctor.”

PR:
There was – well see – the — “A doctor told you this?” [unintelligible] said, “Yes, that’s what my doctor told me.” And I says, “There is no way that praying with nuns is gonna cause you — asthma.”

And then I prayed. And I said, “Lord, what’s wrong with her?” I just prayed silently. And the Lord said, “Ask about her sex life.” And —

RB:
The — the Lord said that to you?

PR:
Yes, He said that to me. And I said, “There’s no way I’m going to ask a strange woman about her sex life.” So I said – [coughs] “Excuse me for — being personal, but would you tell me about your marriage?”

She said, “Oh, I have a wonderful marriage.” I said, “You do?” She [unintelligible], “A wonderful husband, wonderful marriage. It’s just absolutely marvelous.” I said, “You do?” She said, “Yes.” So I prayed again. I said, “Lord, what’s the matter?” And she — He said, “Ask her about her sex life.”

RB:
I — it’s hard to imagine the Lord —

PR:
The – the —

RB:
— saying this to you —

PR:
— the Lord say – well, He did.

PR:
And I — and I said — “You know, please forgive me if I’m being personal, but tell me about your sex life.” And she said, “I don’t have any.” And I said, “Well, I thought you had a wonderful marriage.” And she said — “I do, but I don’t have any sex life.”

And I said, “How long has that been going on?” And she said, “Two years.” And I said — “And that’s when your asthma started, isn’t it?” And she said, “Yes.” And I said, “Well it’s obvious that you’re blaming yourself — for this condition. What’s the problem?” And she said, “My husband’s impotent.”

And I said, “You think it’s your fault.” And she said, “Yes. It’s — I think it’s my fault.” And I said, “Well it isn’t your fault. And it may be that he’s working too hard. He may be having a physical impairment. But — there’s something in his life, that this isn’t your fault.” And she said, “It’s not?”

I said, “Absolutely not.” And I said, “Okay, now let’s pray for your asthma.” And she said, “Okay.” And we prayed. And God healed her asthma just like that. And —

RB:
You — you know that —

PR:
There’s —

RB:
— that’s a tough one for people to swallow.

Ha! Ha! Good one, Rita.

And now, our quiz:

Asthma is caused by:

1. Praying with nuns
2. Hard livin’
3. Jesus H. Christ
4. Impotent husbands

Pat Robertson’s Christian Broadcasting Network produces programming seen in how many countries?

1. 50
2. 100
3. 120
4. 200

In 1988, the year he ran for the Republican nomination for president, Pat Robertson:

1. Announced he wanted to eliminate Amtrak, the Dept. of Education and the Dept. of Energy
2. Raised tens of millions of dollars, making himself an instant threat to establishment candidates
3. Placed ahead of George H.W. Bush in the Iowa caucus
4. All of the above

Pat Robertson has publicly claimed that:

1. The Sept. 11 terrorist attacks were caused in part by pagans, homosexuals, the ACLU and People for the American Way
2. Tolerance of homosexuality could lead to hurricanes, earthquakes, tornadoes, terrorist bombings and “possibly a meteor.”
3. His prayers altered the courses of hurricanes Gloria, Felix and Isabel
4. All of the above

Pat Robertson gained fame and/or infamy for:

1. Winning the 2002 State of Israel Friendship Award from the Zionist Organization of America.
2. Publicly calling for the assassination of Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez
3. Calling the Prophet Muhammed “a dangerous wild-eyed fanatic…a robber and a brigand.”
4. All of the above

The answer to each question is: #4. Which explains why we should all fear and loathe Pat Robertson. Which is why we should rejoice at the news this week that his Christian Coalition, once the biggest, baddest wingnut religious Republican organization on the planet, has faded to a wisp of its former self. From 12 lobbyists in the mid-90s to a single one now, and with former poster boy Ralph Reed under fire for his association with Jack Abramoff, the Christian Coalition — dare we say it? — appears to be collapsing.

Are Americans finally fed up with the self-righteous rants of men like Tom DeLay, Pat Robertson and George W. Bush? Has the country at last had enough of the religion-cloaked justifications for this idiotic war we’re in? Has the religious right — unlike asthma-lady’s unfortunate husband — peaked? Dear Lord, save our country from a collective asthma attack. Please let the answer be yes.