Sin qua non

Hello again. The Other James here, long-time lurker, occasional commenter, and second-time contributor, presenting another fun playlist for your Thursday enjoyment.

So. “Sin Qua Non,” huh. Without which, nothing? Yep. This playlist came to me pretty quickly. I recently received my MA in Art History and Criticism and began looking for a job. Good times, right? Well . . . the lease on my apartment out on Strong Island (or is it Wrong Island?) ends at the end of June, my savings are pretty thin, student loan payments are looming ever-closer, and writing cover letter after cover letter describing how cool, interesting, committed, hard-working, debonaire, experienced, and smart I am leaves me fairly depressed. At times, I find myself feeling a bit discouraged.

So. What about Sin Qua Non? Well, dreams, for one thing. Hence the playlist. As I’ve mentioned before, my iTunes library is somewhat large—now approaching 150 GB—and so the number of songs with “dream” somewhere in the title is around 120 songs, far too many to share here. So, I’ve selected a few of my favorites (Waits, Roxy, or Hi-Standard, for example) or ones that I hope will become favorites (Jorge, Liebert, or Magnetic Fields, perhaps). Anyway. Here’s the playlist:

1. “Dream”: Keith Richards
2. “Dreams”: The Kinks
3. “Asleep and Dreaming”: Magnetic Fields
4. “You Stepped Out of a Dream”: Max Roach
5. “Begin Again Again . . . for Hypercello Solo: Timbre Dream”: Tod Machover
6. “When I Live My Dream”: Seu Jorge
7. “In Every Dream Home a Heartache”: Roxy Music
8. “Bullfighter’s Dream”: Ottmar Liebert
9. “Monk’s Dream”: Thelonious Monk Quartet
10. “Dreams”: TV On The Radio
11. “Innocent When You Dream”: Tom Waits
12. “ California Dreaming”: Hi-Standard
13. “I’ll See You In My Dreams”: Django Reinhardt

So what am I dreaming of when I feel blue in the night? I could be almost anything if I lived inside my dreams, but since I’m a Master of Art History and Criticism, my options in the waking world are somewhat limited. First, I guess, I dream of waking in the night and seeing the sweetest thing I ever saw, but that seems somewhat far away: someday, maybe, she’ll step out of my dreams. But that’s pretty standard fare for an unmarried 30-year-old. Banal, huh? I guess I better begin again, again.

I sometimes dream about the little house with a white picket fence, but I know that in every dream home a heartache lurks, and my dreams are no no different: I blow them up, and they blow my mind. (There’s nothing sexual or shocking here.)

My dreams are strange. Sometimes I’m a boxer; sometimes the bag. Sometimes I fight bulls. Most often, in my dreams, as in life, I’m something of a monk. A beer-drinking, cussing, pro-choice, free-love-when-you-can-get-it monk, but a monk nonetheless. But they’re my dreams, right? Anyway, since I became Master James, I’ve already lived out most of my dreams. They’re all gone. There’s more to dream of, but I’m not dreaming about anything substantial or long-term, or even short-term just yet. All my dreams are over. Or, rather, all the dreams I had as a younger man are over. Now I need to make more: a sad old feeling, but we’re all innocent when we dream, right? Right.

I’m dreaming of a cushy career in the arts, preferably working with public art and arts-related community action, a white picket fence and a tire swing, coming home from work and cooking homemade dim sum with a woman that I love too much to judge her beauty. Is such a thing possible in the 21st Century? I don’t know. I’m dreaming of a girl I once loved and a job on the northern California coast, riding bikes on the beach to work, her hair in the breeze, and a cold beer or two on the couch, looking out at the sun setting with my arm around her. I don’t think that one will come true. But I know I’d be safe and warm with her, on the beach, far from L.A., scratching out a life together. Again, banal. I know. But I’ve got nothing better. And, anyway, my dreams are never as strange and interesting (sadly) as some of the scenes in Stardust Memories.

How have your dreams changed as you move through life? Are dreams really something without which there is nothing? I may be accused of conflating hopes, dreams, wishes, and desire, but they are all connected and conjoined in some sense. Thoughts? Am I even using ‘sin qua non’ properly? I don’t really know: I first heard phrase on Battlestar Gallactica, and did a quick google search to get the translation, so my understanding of the phrase is likely limited. Anyway, enjoy the mix.

*Full Disclosure: Since I began writing this post, I’ve finally started hearing from potential employers, worked out a possible place to stay for a month or two, and am feeling much less discouraged. Good times, indeed.

10 responses to “Sin qua non”

  1. rm says:

    give roy orbison a shot too.

    lane can fill you in on the dean stockwell angle.

  2. Robyn Hitchcock and Grant Lee Phillips do a pretty spectacular cover of “All I Have to do is Dream” by the Everly Brothers. (Which is in its own right a fantastic song.)

  3. The Other James says:

    I’m something of a fan of the Everly Brothers song, and will have to check out the Robyn Hitchcock and Grant Lee Phillips version. But I do like Keith Richards’ version. It picks up the more mournful aspects of the song. Despite Keith’s shaky, off-key delivery (or perhaps because of it) I think his solo covers of songs like “All I have to do is Dream” (here, just “Dream”), “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” and “the Nearness of You,” are some of the best around, especially when I’m feeling sorry for myself. Ha.

  4. Tim says:

    Looks like a cool mix! Not to complain or anything, but my download seemed to be missing the Tod Machover track.

  5. The Other James says:

    Oh, crap. Sorry everyone! I forgot to convert the Machover track! Shame on me! Jeez. I’m an idiot!. Ok. I’ll fix it and post a new link shortly. Sorry again.

  6. The Other James says:

    Ok. I fixed the problem. You can find the fixed version (Sin Qua Non 2) here.

  7. will have to check out the Robyn Hitchcock and Grant Lee Phillips version

    It is on their concert video, “Elixiers and Remedies” which I think is available through the normal channels. The tape suffers a bit from a lack of production but contains some rough gems. (What made me think of it was your line, “First, I guess, I dream of waking in the night and seeing the sweetest thing I ever saw, but that seems somewhat far away: someday, maybe, she’ll step out of my dreams.”)

  8. I did not know Richards had a cover of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” Something vaguely disturbing about that knowledge. Not that I dislike either Richards or the song you uderstand — but the two in combination seem jarring.

  9. Annie says:

    Your post reminds me of a conversation I recently had with a remarkable woman in her 70s who has had a pretty rich and accomplished life. The conversation turned to the importance, even at her age and with all her successes, of still having dreams, and of how staying vital and engaged with the world is (at least partly) about finding new dreams for each decade or moment. Banal or not, dreams seem to offer us something–or so she convinced me.

    Thanks for sharing. I’m sure the mix is great, too. (And good luck with the job search.)

  10. The Other James says:

    Modesto: Richards’ “Somewhere over the Rainbow” is completely disturbing: raw, somewhat unfocused, and an extremely poor recording on a out-of-tune upright piano. It’s even more of a bummer than the version by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole.

    Annie: I totally agree with your friend. I have a hard time finding any joy without some dreams about the future, even if they are banal: and if not dreams, hopes or plans for the future or something. This is perhaps the first time in my short life when I’ve completed all the “easy” dreams I’ve had (like holding undergraduate degrees in painting and philosophy, and a graduate degree in Art History and Criticism, or moving 1000 miles from home and making a life for myself without a support structure, or moving 1600 miles from there and doing it all over again).