Dear Cedric,

When I’m having sex at the gym, should I do it before or after my workout?

Sincerely,
Jake G.

Dear Jake,

This question has been plaguing humanity for thousands of years. But modern medicine has finally given us important answers.

First, sex is about raw strength. The stronger your beloved sex muscle—the pubococcygeus—the better it functions. What does that mean? For you and other men: higher erection angle, increased ejaculation distance and volume, and higher sexual stamina. For women: higher stamina and increased vaginal strength and control. The well-known Kegel exercises specifically strengthen your pubococcygeus muscle. General exercise provides similar benefits.

But more than just strengthening muscles, exercise can prime your body’s sexual response. A study done by Cindy Meston, Ph.D., at the University of Texas at Austin, measured women’s sexual response to exercise. Participants stuck a photopleysmograph into their vaginas and measured their arousal level as they watched a porno. Then Dr. Meston repeated the study after making the women perform intense exercise for twenty minutes. She found that immediately post-exercise, the women’s arousal levels were increased compared to no exercise. The results are thought to be similar in men. That’s great evidence for post-workout sex.

Of course, beyond the physical, there’s the psychological. Working-out pumps up your muscles to a ripe and plump state, giving you confidence and providing visual stimulation to you and your partner. Your self-esteem can increase post-workout, leading to hotter encounters.

Pre-workout sex can present a social problem to some seekers: a “gym slut” reputation. Mind you that gyms aren’t necessarily sex clubs. And in the hierarchy of appropriate gym sex, post-workout sex is preferable. Post-workout sex gives the pretext that you’re actually there to work out, not cruise. Sex becomes a happy “coincidence.” On the contrary, pre-workout sex includes people at the gym cruising with no intention of working out. That behavior is sometimes considered needy and unattractive to many sexual partners, diminishing your desirability and experience.

In summary, Jake, modern medicine and science can finally give firm evidence that post-workout sex is best. Get exercising.

Dear Cedric,

I haven’t had a stool for three days. Am I gross?

Heath L.

Dear Heath,

We all get excited about our bowels and count and measure our movements. Studies have shown that normal stooling is anywhere from three times a day to once every three days. Some people take a dump even more or less frequently and are still considered normal.

As doctors, we become concerned when a person’s baseline stooling changes. That change can occur from medicines, changes in activity, transient illness, dietary factors, anal play, hemorrhoids, or infection.

Anytime you note a chronic change in stooling you should see your doctor, who can examine you by sticking an instrument like a finger, swab, barium enema, retractor, dilator, anoscope, sigmoidoscope, colonoscope, or ultrasound probe into your bottom.