Better late than really super ultra late

Yes of course of course. One is thankful for those things. Family, friends, roof over head. And by disparaging that shit, I do not mean to disparage that shit. But as the holiday looms, I am going to try to sidestep the numb recitation of compulsory gratitude and think of some minor, perhaps idiotic things I am grateful for.

I’m not trying to be all whimsical. I’m not your manic pixie dream blogger, ok? But what I’m stabbing at is some kind of irritable, reactive mindfulness. It’ll have to do.

1) I am grateful that the wireless connection I have been mooching off for three years seems to be kaput. I didn’t get my own wireless when I moved in due to being as good as my word when I told Verizon “ok, you can go ahead and charge me that late fee, obviously, but you could also not charge me that fee, and if you do charge me that fee, I just won’t use Verizon anymore.” Anyway suddenly I have nothing, and I’m not quite enough of a junkie to spend as much time on my phone as I do on my lousy little netbook. If I told you how liberating it is, you would know too much about my sick relationship with the internet, so let’s just say now I’m going to clean the house more regularly.

2) I am grateful that my boss doesn’t give a good goddamn when we get in, within reason. Among the small sorrows of life, waking up to an alarm is maybe #1 on my list, so last night when I had some kind of insomnia I assume was related to internet withdrawal, I was overjoyed to send my boss a note that I’d be in late and leave it at that.

3) I am grateful that my pesky little cat has a manageable if somewhat expensive condition rather than something worse and seemingly will be poking me awake to replenish the unbelievably vile canned food she now must eat for, keinahora, many years to come.

4) I am grateful for banh mi.

5) I am grateful for the fact that young people with their cameras and their rock and roll music are constantly filming every damn thing so the world will see (is seeing) the lengths to which money and power will go to in the interest of self-preservation.

6) I am grateful to each little baby alpaca (or alpacino, as we have decided they are called) that sacrificed its coat for yarn so I could have a dorkarific pastime for the long hours on the A train.

7) I am grateful for having a window in my office after four years so I am losing my mind 20% less to Seasonal Moping Disorder than in those years.

8) I am grateful that I don’t feel the need to make this a ten-item list.

You got any?

6 responses to “Better late than really super ultra late”

  1. Tim says:

    I’m grateful for “alpacino”.

  2. J-Man says:

    Ditto! Also, because I, too, am knitting with alpacino and I really love how soft it is.

  3. F. P. Smearcase says:

    It’s the loveliest. I mean, not counting cashmere because who the hell can afford to knit with it?

  4. PB says:

    I am grateful that of all the Thanksgiving guests in all the world, I have one I adore AND graduated from culinary school. Score!

    I am grateful that I looked up bahn mi and now know what it means.

    I am grateful for Wikipedia.

    I am grateful that you used the term “manic pixie dream blogger” which is super clever.

    I am grateful that no one has made the witty connection between alpacino and Al Pacino.

  5. swells says:

    I can’t tell you how envious I am of you not having that net connection. There is a program called “Freedom” that allows you to buy hours of net-blocking, if you need help going cold turkey so bad that you’d actually pay for it instead of flipping down the top of your laptop and, you know, going outside. I have considered it.

    And banh mi!!! SUCH a delightful addition to life! I share your gratitude and raise you dim sum.

  6. FPS says:

    And my wireless is back. Farewell, brief dream of freedom!