Dear Diary:

Sunday
Got back from a destination wedding where two people with a great deal more clarity than I have vowed to spend the rest of their lives together. I am so happy for them, but can’t help wonder if I’ll ever be ready to do that. Having just ended a 9.5-year relationship with someone great, I feel at the other end of the stability and emotional harmony spectrum. Sigh.

Monday
Turned 40! What a relief. Had total emotional meltdown a week earlier and nearly cancelled party. Experienced intense mid-life crisis—expected to be settled and happy in every aspect of life by 40th birthday, but plan fell apart. Am I just a slow starter or an emotional disaster? Hard to say at this point. Good news: birthday horoscope says year ahead is one of liberation.

Tuesday
Very tired after delightful birthday. Spent time reviewing gifts—didn’t really deserve so much booty, but it takes edge off mid-life crisis. Can’t wait to sip champagne while trying on new make-up after eating salad from gorgeous Vietnamese bowl with new iPod stereo playing in background. Caught up on Entourage—surely Medillin will be a huge hit?

Wednesday
Got email from immigration lawyer: It gives me great pleasure to advise you that your permanent residence application has been approved. The copy of USCIS email herewith attached indicates your permanent residence card has been ordered and will be mailed directly to your home address upon completion. You will also receive a “welcome notice” from the USCIS.

Thursday
Picked self up off floor. After four years of stress, expense, and stress, my quest for permanent legal residence has ended successfully. Immediate reaction was crying, followed by phone calls to ex, who is almost entirely responsible for getting me here and through this process, and other friends. Experienced almost an hour of euphoria before job stress stamped out joy. But now … can leave job. Life just changed.

Friday
Posted blog.

It’s been a busy week.